A
male
age
30-35,
*ames013
writes:I am SO down. About 3 months ago we found out my fiancee was pregnant. It wasn’t planned and we were scared because we are a bit younger (I am 19, she is 21). But we decided to make the best of it, so we were happy and excited, I moved in with her and we were planning on getting married. We are still not married b/c I cannot afford health insurance and I do not want to potentially hurt our family in the long run. I am in the interview process at a local hospital which would give me benefits and I fully intended to marry her after that. She told me it was over last night b/c we weren’t married yet and she had waited long enough. I am SO hurt. I cannot stop crying, I got 2 hours of sleep and I do not know what to do. I still love her with all my heart and our little baby. I don’t know what to do. I am just hurting so badly. What do I do? I want to marry this wonderful woman.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (20 March 2008):
 Then Marry her. Thats all there is to it. Call her and explain to her how you have been feeling and why you stopped this marriage happening. If you just keep it to yourself your never going to get any further, and she might find someone else. I see you live in the USA. I dont know how it works out there, but im sure Health Insurance is not that expensive or even that nessesary right now.
Marry her, get a better job that will give you more money, and perhaps you can get a babysitter so your wife can work too. Im sure you will both be able to afford health insurance in a few months or under a year. Dont let something so little as money ruin your chance to be with the woman you love the most.
She probably left you becuase she was hoping that you would ask her sooner, but seeing as you now both have a kid and you havent asked her yet, she may have thought that things just wernt going to get any better, and things wernt going to move on. I once did the same to my boyfriend. We were going out for almost 2 years and I wanted to have a flat together by the 3rd year if we were still together, but he let somehting like money get in the way of that, so things didnt work out on my half for a while and I was tempted to just leave, coz i couldnt stand the fact that nothing was happening or getting any further.
Call her up and explain.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 March 2008): You shouldn't not marry her because you do not have health insurance...does she work? I guess not. You can add her on your insurance as a dependant and still get the baby covered. Or she can get benefits through the county/state you reside. I don't know if you are in the UK or USA as that probably makes a difference; however, you need to do something. Social services in the states takes care of pregnant unweds/babies. There are still questions unanswered in your quest for help.
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