A
female
age
26-29,
*ily13524
writes:Well i have a problem i usually hurt guys when i date them.But i have to admit some guys in my past have hurt me to and i have never fully recover from some heartbreaks.At times i look for the guy`s flaws and not good things about them.I think highly of myself and at times i have to admit i look down on some persons.Many guys ask me out but most of the times i turn them down and when i do accept to go out with them i get bored with them quickly or i lust at other hot guys.At times i flirt with some guys and i do not think it is a problem.But now i realize i have hurt many persons and my friends are realizing it to.How can i change to be a better person.I need tips and advice fast thank you aunts and uncles in advance.
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female
reader, lily13524 +, writes (12 June 2010):
lily13524 is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks you guys for the great tips and advice
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (11 June 2010):
Stop dating. You're not ready to date at all, and it seems like you have some self esteem issues that need to be dealt with first.
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A
male
reader, RAINORFIRE +, writes (11 June 2010):
 your 14 stop dating
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 June 2010):
 First things first - if your age is truly 13-15, you're a kid! No wonder you're flitting around from guy to guy. You're too young for a serious relationship. It's good that you're realizing that your behavior is a bit self-destructive and tha you want to be better. Some people never realize that about themselves, so you're ahead of the game!
If you're 13-15, I will tell you that you will see things differently when you're 16-18 or even 18-21. You need time to be alone and heal from the heartbreaks you've felt from other immature guys, or you'll just take that baggage with you to every new relationship. Then you'll hurt the guys, make THEM have baggage, and it's a vicious circle.
Shun all relationships now other than platonic friendships. Don't allow yourself to slip into the "Oh, that guy's cute" thing. Let yourself grow and mature. Get involved in a hobby, take a job, or think about your future as an adult. Find something to do that will give your life meaning, and it will change and transform you into the person you want to be. Then when you meet someone, you will love yourself, and you will have the maturity to truly love them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): First of all the fact that you've come to a realization you have to change this behavior is a great start, I'm glad you realize it.
If guys in the past have hurt you, you say you haven't gotten over the past heart breaks which means your are carrying huge baggage into the next relationship which isn't fair to who your dating. Just try and look at it from the flip side, if a guy you thought you really liked dated you and he ended up treating you like crap because he wasn't over his EX girlfriend you'd feel pretty bad, used even so try and put that into perspective when your making your decisions. Always put yourself in someone else's shoes.
You seem like since you have so many guys asking you out you have some ego issues. Since your always looking down on guys and thinking your so high up there will only make you a worse person. You need to clean up your ego before judging other and looking at their own faults.
You saying "you get bored" with them quickly is a sign of immaturity. Stop looking for relationships if your just out for fun. You need to realize if your just out "for fun" not to start dating or get into a relationship. It may be "fun" for you but the person your dating may actually see it going where and it will hurt them to find out your just using them as a game.
To sum it up, you want to be a better person. So stop committing so fast, get to know yourself and what you want.
Remember being tempted by other guys isn't bad, it's giving into the temptations which makes things bad.
Your pretty young so it's normal to be "lusting" for other guys. This is why you should take your time, maybe not date so many guys so fast. Try to get to know them before you try dating so quickly and you'll minimize on the people you hurt. By taking a bit longer you can get to know them a bit better before you date so you can avoid all the unnecessary situations (you may realize you don't want to date them if you get to know them a tad better).
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