A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid, I have a silly, on-going crush on my boyfriend's younger brother. He doesn't know, and I'd NEVER tell him or do anything - but I secretly fantasize about him, and I always have dreams about him if I've seen him during the day. He's tall, fit, very attractive, single, and if that's not enough to send me into overdrive, he's also a firefighter, so I'm trying to resist gazing him at him when I see him wearing his uniform.I would never act on my feelings, but I'm having a hard time keeping the fantasies at bay. The worst bit is that he probably thinks that I hate him, because his presence makes me tooo shy to strike up a conversation, and just looking him in the eye is really difficult. Most of the time I just blatantly ignore him, and I even have difficulty saying 'hi' or 'bye'. I'm way too conscious of how I act around him, and in trying to act normal I end up coming across as really unfriendly and rude. I'm totally committed to my boyfriend, and I want this crush to go away. How can I get over this? I want to be able to have a normal conversation with his brother, without all the silly feelings and behaviour attached. What can I do??
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female
reader, billy bilou +, writes (4 February 2010):
If you fantasise a lot on him, it means that you are very attracted to him. No matter what you do, these feeligns will not go away. You find him more appealing than your boyfriend and you will continue to have such feelings. I know it sounds wrong but maybe there is a possibility you consider breaking up with your boyfriend. How will you feel if you were in your boyfriend's place? You cannot go out with someoner when you are burning with desire for someone else.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 January 2010):
First of all you need to focus on your own relationship. Something is missing if you're looking at the brother. So take a look at the relationship and work on that. Maybe you're looking for excitement, or maybe you could even get your boyfriend to put the uniform on :).
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