A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Question for guys (though ladies can offer their answers too!) I desperately want to give the guy I'm seeing really great head. But I'm incredibly insecure at times - not just as most girls are, it's a little deeper than that apparently- and contorting my face into awkward positions in order to suck him off is something that scares the fuck out of me. The head I have given him has been fine, but I'm not enjoying it as I want to / should be simply because I feel a little 'embarrassed' almost, about it. It's the same with food - I hate eating in front of other people. Although I guess it's a positive thing to look hungry for his penis, it's just not easy to process in my subconscious. I don't know why I feel so incredibly frightened of being confident about giving great head, I know I'll love the satisfaction of having pleased him as much as I can - but again, something inside me just doesn't acknowledge that at the time.So guys - do you care what a girl looks like while she's sucking you off? What about sucking noises? Please don't just 'reassure' me, tell me the truth! :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2010): My only advice would be to do things as naturally as they come. Don't try to act it. Trying to be more sexual can go a certain distance but it can backfire, especially if you're not feeling it.
What you look like while doing it does matter a little bit, but it's not something you should be concerned about.
It is a turn-on to some extent for the guy to see you "hungry" for it. The more out of control and dominated by that emotion you look, the more turned on the guy will be. It shows the guy that you are really into it, that you dig him.
Also, keep in mind that guys are competitive and territorial. They like to dominate, they like to "corrupt" the girl to the highest extent possible. So it really does not matter what you look like as long as he feels that he's the one. In fact, you being shy about it probably turns the guy on. It shows him that you are a bit outside your comfort zone, and he knows you're doing this for him, so it's fine.
Don't try to be too slutty if you're not into it. Guys really relate to how much they can influence you on the inside while doing these things, how much they can influence your own comfort zone, how much you can do this of your own free will. What you look like will always please him as long as you are true with yourself and your feelings in the moment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): To the anon...I am not talking about me gagging HER, I'm talking about HER gagging her. Some women like to deepthroat, or try to, and they gag. They're just getting into it and going a little nuts...which is totally hot. "out of control" as Gabrielle put it. It turns me on, and her too. I would never forcefully gag a woman or do anything against her will. In fact, that turns me off...I'm only turned on if she is.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone - great answers, much appreciated. ^^
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Just go for it. I go crazy for the sight of my girlfriend's mouth around my penis. I especially love to hold her hair back for her so I can see her whole face; it's unbelievably sexy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): OK sorry, I don't mean to be rude or "attacking" anyone, but twice now people have described how hot it is to see a woman gagging during oral sex. I mean I understand there's a whole thing with liking to see her stretching or something to accommodate a big penis, but generally gagging is something that indicates she's really uncomfortable/unhappy with what's going on with the oral sex (or that you're pushing too way too hard/thrusting too hard). Oral sex should be amazing and is a great thing, but getting turned on by watching her gag is getting turned on by hurting her/getting turned on by doing something to her that she doesn't want done.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (23 September 2010):
 I've been giving head since I was fifteen (so around 11 years now) and I'm not even going to mention how many men I've given them to.
Not one has ever had a problem with how my face looked. If anything, the more "out-of-control" I am, the more it turns them on.
Relax. It's fun. Not a beauty contest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): The stuff you're paranoid about is EXACTLY what most guys like about a blowjob. Seeing a womans lips stretched obscenely around it, the outline of the head visible under her cheek, her smacking it on her tongue, slurping, spitting on it, gagging...it's all totally incredible. The more obscene, the better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): I've had many, many blow jobs in my life and I can honestly say I have never thought a woman looked unattractive while giving it. There's just something about it that is so sexy and so much of a turn on that I don't think it's possible for a woman to look bad while doing it (unless she's just heinously ugly to begin with, in which case you wouldn't be able to get hard in the first place). Seriously, just do it and let him watch, he'll probably think you're even hotter after that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Be vocal and appreciative - lots of 'mmmm'! It's all about enthusiasm, and how much you look and sound like you're loving it. Let him see how much you crave it. Don't take any pause, don't stop and start: continuous motion is needed. Also, anon's idea of a little gentle slapping against your face and cheeks is a sure-fire winner.
You'll get more into it as you get more used to it - you mention feeling a little embarrassed, the same way you hate eating in front of other people. In fairness, there's a world of difference - eating's quite a social activity that you do in public, which I doubt can be said for your blowjobs.
It's worth pausing to ponder why you feel embarrassed - there's a huge psychological dimension to it, and of course lots of beginners feel that it's a little embarrassing or humiliating to kneel down in front of a man and suck his cock. The absolute 100% sluttiness of the whole thing is what makes it such a turn-on for both parties. If you haven't heard any complaints from your bf, I'm sure he's more than happy with your technique. Maybe ask him is there any way you can make it better for him. But I'm sure you're doing fine.
Bon appetit!
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 September 2010):
 Everyone looks a little silly when they're giving a blowjob. I'm sure it looks hot as hell no matter what it is you're doing.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2010): You are absolutely not alone! It scares the hell out of me. I keep thinking he's going to judge the face and lose the erection and I'm going to end up bitching. It's mind over matter that helps. He's the one getting a blowjob, your mouth is wrapped around his penis. If you make a weird face or noise, he has to room to say "wtf?" because he's too busy being grateful for the sensation. Practice with him, let him know you have concerns but you really want to please him. I guarantee you, he'll tell you that you're overthinking and to do what makes you feel comfortable. He won't mind.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (22 September 2010):
 As you're doing it, look up into his eyes. He'll LOVE it!!! Also, whilst you have him in your mouth, moan and hum a little, the vibrations from your vocal chords will 'tickle his fancy' for sure!!!
Good luck, and enjoy!
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A
male
reader, Jeseh.  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 No we dont care how you look like what matters is the pleasure so just relax.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (22 September 2010):
 I think that there is little on this earth I find sexier then a girl performing oral sex on me. I don't care if she's making faces or noises. I actually like some slurping and smacking noises. It makes me feel like she's into it! He'll love it, have no doubt about that.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (22 September 2010):
 We're grateful that it's happening at all. It doesn't matter what it looks or sounds like.
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A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (22 September 2010):
 Your probably over reacting, if he isnt complaining your doing it right. Just try to relax more
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