A
female
age
41-50,
*plashlove42
writes:Dear cupid, I am a married woman in love with another woman. My husband hates it and not seeing her is killing me. I love them both very much but obviously cannot make both of them happy. She was even willing to be just a side thing but he refuses. What am I suppose to do? Do I continue to be without her or do you have any advice on how I can convince him that she is good for me?
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female
reader, femalefriend  +, writes (3 July 2011):
Hi there, im in the same story as you are talking about but im the other woman, not the married one. Ive been in a rel. with this girl for almost 2 yrs and 10 mos. i told her i cant stand being with her because she told me that she will never leave her husband. At first i thought it was fine with me but later realized it gets harder everyday because my love for her becomes stronger the longer i stayed with her. I decided to end the rel. but she told me to give her time. i dont know whats in her mind but she just wants to be with me. Even if it might end this year. Im just staying and pretend to be ok just to give her the favor she wants. I dont want to leave her, but she told me that her kids is more important to her. I dont want to give her a problem, i dont want to waste her time and my time as well. I want to be with her, for the rest of my life.. but i know she would be happy with me if she is not with her kids. I cant support her as her husband can financially and i want her to live a better life. I can give her one but not as good as her husband. thats the reality for me. Maybe i will someday find someone who is really for me. Im sorry if i shared my story. I just need someone to talk to. thanks and goodluck to you. I hope you could find yourself before its too late. :)
A
female
reader, Rachael2310  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Hello, I seriously suggest that you have a break from both of them.
It sounds like you have very little respect for both of your lovers and also yourself. Take some time apart, no contact with either of them, get some self respect and in time you'll be able to think clearer. I can fully empathise with you, however, you allowed another person to come into your marriage, it was always going to end up like this.
I reiterate, take some time out. Learn to have more respect for yourself and be less greedy then you'll be able to think clearer and stop hurting people.
All the best, x
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A
female
reader, tmisty777 +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Wen you are in a relationship you need to make sure that you ae only committed to one person. If you arn't, you need to break it off with both and wait to have a srious relationship with someone that you know you want to be with foreverand just them. There is a lot of pain caused from knowing that the one you ve wants to be with someone else, try not to hurt him.
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A
female
reader, Liza999  +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Tough one!!! I have been with women in the past and am now trying to have a commited relationship with a guy and cut myself off from my women connections because I love him and want to give him all of me. My fear is that I will marry him one day, miss being with women and end up torn like you are right now. Was there something missing with your husband that you strayed to begin with? Of course he would not like that you have a connection with someone else but I understand it completely. They are very different feelings emotions dynamics with each...this can be very complicated. Is this the first woman you have ever been with? Are you interested in her because of the novelty the sexual aspect or does it go much deeper? Could you see yourself in a long term relationship with her? If your husband had a connection with someone and he wanted you to understand it, what could he say to you to make you feel better about it and not intimidated? Sigh, I hear your pain sister
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Your cheating on your husband and he forgave you and your still asking how can you ask him to let you continue with this affair, are you serious.
You need to choose who do you love and who do you want to be with. Obviously you can't be with both so what are you going to do stay with your husband or leave him to be with your lover.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Yeah, Petina's right. You can't have both. Being in love with a girl while married is the same as being in love with another man. It's cheating. You have to make a life change, set your husband free to love someone else if you want to be with her.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (11 June 2010):
 Whether it be a man or a woman it is still classed as adultery if you are in a sexual relationship with someone else other than your husband. You must choose one or the other to have any kind of peace. Hope this helps.
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