A
female
age
30-35,
*vermyhead123
writes:I met this girl online and we went out and we got very close, we would text all day every day, talk for hours every night, and I made her my gf. We did tell each other "I love you." We are no longer together because she started talking to another girl she "used to have a thing with" and started seeing her daily and did not let me know this, but asked for "space" due to family issues and things she needed to take care of. I gave her space for about a week and then confronted the situation. She did not know I knew about the other girl, but I knew it wasn't "family issues," she was thinking of who she wanted to be with. I told her to choose between the other girl and I and she refused, saying she "wasn't going to pick anyone." So she basically told me that she was never able to see me, and she could see this girl all the time, and she had developed feelings for her. I eventually at the end of the night told her I didn't want to talk anymore, in hopes of her contacting me and choosing to be with me. She is now girlfriends with that other girl and they already say "I love you," althought they have only been going out for a couple weeks. Her and I are still in contact, called her a week later after telling her I didn't want to talk anymore, and I left her a message telling her I still wanted to be friends and I wish the best for her and will always care for her. I talk to her occasionally and every time we talk she never mentions her current gf, she has never once mentioned her to me. The last time I talked to her was when I called her this morning for about 20 mins.. It felt good, it was almost like old times. Even though we only met twice in person, we shared a lot of amazing times, and said a lot of great things to each other. We felt very strongly about each other, and I felt if I were to see her again/more often, her feelings for me might come back. The truth is I miss her, and I still love her, and I want to be with her. I'm torn because she is with someone else now, but I would like to set up a date to hang out with her just as friends, to see what would happen. When I txt her one day after she had hung out with that other girl all week, her reply to me asking her how she had been was "ehh, okay." But after me telling her I had been good she tried to throw her hanging out with that girl in my face. They have a picture together up on myspace but my ex is looking down at her phone and the girl is looking into the camera. My ex always posts about how much she misses this girl and loves her on twitter, but still calls me back and answers when I call, but does not mention this other girl to me at all. I feel like maybe this girl is just a phase, she enjoys the company and has fun, but it didn't work out the first time with her for a reason? So my question is, do you think there is a chance of us ever getting back together? What can I do to help this to happen? How long must I wait? My ex and I had very strong feelings for each other, I have never felt this way about anyone before. She even cried in fear of losing me, she was afraid my friends would change my opinion of her, and she had trust issues because of her ex gf, and I was very supportive and sweet to her the entire time.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Roshii  +, writes (18 July 2010):
 This is a difficult one, Shes obviously Not in a phase, But that doesnt mean she doesnt like you.
Shes with the other Girl now, So the chances of you getting back together depend on your ex. Noone can guess this.
You need to let the girl do what she wants now. Sure your actions may have pushed them closer together. but youll have to accept this, and move on from it.
My advice is this :
Dont wait, get on with your own life and let what happens happen, If she comes back she comes back, But why put your own life on hold for someone who lied about family issues to spend time with another girl? Surely you deserve better in all this.
If you need someone to talk my inbox is always open.
Roshiii
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