A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a gut feeling that my boyfriend of 3 years is cheating. Lately he has been distant, says its more work related. We don't speak as much as we used to. Last week as we were texting he called me "Judy" my name is no where even close to that. I asked "who is Judy"? He replied "oh I was half asleep when I texted that". A couple of days ago, we were intimate, and he started saying " I never get this erected when... then stopped. I said "huh"? He paused and said "oh I meant I just never get this way if I'm alone". Hmm... I have come out and asked if there's anything going on that I'm needing to know. He says nothing is going on. He's been different. Do you think he's cheating?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Is he really that distracted to call you Judy and mention the first thing that comes to his mind in bed?
These two incidents sound a little too deliberate on his part. It makes me think he's testing you to see if he can make you jealous.
Maybe he is cheating too, and he can't help but subtly brag about it to you. Maybe he's not.
You should just do your own investigation and not let him play games with you. Cheaters usually act secretive and paranoid instead of going around dropping hints for their partners.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2010): Well, you could hire a private detective if you really wanted to know whether or not he's cheating.
Usually a gut feeling is correct. Thank your lucky stars you aren't married to him!
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A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (1 December 2010):
 Talk to him don't jump into any conclusions. He made have his attention elsewhere but you can't guarantee an infidelity simply because he called you a different name. He may or may not be cheating and only him and you can clear up this mess.
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A
female
reader, alien invasion  +, writes (30 November 2010):
 It's tough to say. You've really got to talk to him about trust issues because this is what sounds like is going on. You obviously aren't fully trusting him right now, and that needs to be worked on.
You need to step back from this situation, sit him down and seriously ask him what's going on and why you feel like you can't trust him. Make him tell you what the hell is going on so you can solve this problem.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (30 November 2010):
 It's a possibility. Do you know someone in his life named Judy? Is there a Facebook friend named Judy? A co-worker?
It's a good bet, but even if he isn't cheating, he's getting distant, meaning the relationship is on the outs. Don't let him be distant and then give him sex. Sex doesn't make people who are distant love you more.
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