A
female
age
41-50,
*mptyHeart
writes:Ok, so my husband passed away about 2 years ago, and I have been seeing this guy now for over a year. We had our ups and downs. I think mainly because I wasn't ready at first. But he truly cared for me and stayed with me through my grieving process. That says a lot to me about a person, that is why I am still with him. Anyway, I have 3 children who finally met him, after a long time dating him. I waited a long time before I introduced the kids. I basically kept him in the shadows for over a year or so. Not only for my kids, but out of respect of my inlaws and friends who didn't agree on me dating so early. Anyway, I introduced the kids to him and unfortunately they really don't like him. It is not because they think I am replacing their father, but because they just don't like his personality. I can see why, because he can come off very strong and overbearing. But I get him, no one else does. So I feel like I am stuck in the middle. I don't know what to do. Do I break up with him because of the kids? Do I say, it is mommy's decision and you basically have to deal with it? Any suggestions would help. Thanks! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, EmptyHeart +, writes (18 October 2010):
EmptyHeart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy kids are 11, 8 and 7. The oldest is adament about him, and is rubbing off on the little ones. They, now, don't like him either. Ugh! I guess time is key.
A
male
reader, FRANK_KNOWS +, writes (17 October 2010):
If you aren't happy, no one else will be either. Spend more time with him and the kid's.
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A
male
reader, Ven +, writes (17 October 2010):
How old are your children?
You can take your time and give them all multiple opportunities to warm up to each other. If they don't, you have to decide how incompatible they are.
Your responsibility is to your children. If they can't live with him, keeping him "in the shadows" may be your only option. Keep your love life away from the kids, but let them know that he is a part of your life that isn't going away either.
It's a hard situation any way you look at it. I wish you the best of luck.
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