A
male
age
36-40,
*oom
writes:Hello dear cupid, here I am again. Yesterday I had the strangest day of my life. With my Gf we are together for 7 months, and we really love and live together in same appartement.May be in future she will be my wife who knows. So yesterday she was very upset that at new year I drunk a little bit of vodka, she was really upset and we tried to talk and then I found out about her past and it really really scared me to death. I really like her love her, but tell me how I should react.She began saying she had a difficult childhood, her sister got pregnant at 15, had an abortion and after that her parents ignored my GF, till now. No birthday parties, no hugs presents etc...And when she was 18, she made her own party and had sex drunk for the first time with her EX. She was so ill after such an amount of alcohol, that she doesn't remember having sex.That tragic. After that she "hates" alcohol, and she tried to seduce all boys. She begun dressing very sexy, giving them hugs but without kissing or having sex.Then she met me, she told me that first time we met she wanted the same and then fell in love. After 3 weeks we began leaving together, she made me supper, dinner. She introduced me to her family after 3 months. Well it went really serious. But after yesterday fight I really got scared, don't know why, maybe she still flirts with me? Even if she tells me I’m her first love, and she wants a life with me. I can tell you we don't have problems in money or in bed or in relationship, she is just very jealous girl. Today she cried about what she said and is scared not to lose me.Please help her past freaks me out. I appreciate all answers. Thank you before hand
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abortion, drunk, fell in love, flirt, her ex, her past, jealous, kissing, money Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Im not sure.. maybe im the only one seeing this. maybe im just looking for the wrong thing, or maybe i looked passed the title. idk. the question i think here is
"But after yesterday fight I really got scared, don't know why, maybe she still flirts with me?"
The answer im going to give you is if you work at your relationship, be there for her. COmfort her when she needs it. You have to be able to trust her enough when she tells you she loves you.. You know her better than any of us do.. You seem like you are doing a good job.
Good luck =)
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl +, writes (3 January 2010):
 The older we get, the more of a past, and more baggage we have. I tend to leave the past in the past! Both mine and my boyfriends.
It doesn't matter to us what we did in the past as long as we love eachother and are faithful to oneanother now!
We all have a past! It's part of our history but we don't have to relive it!
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A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (3 January 2010):
 Everyone has their own dark secrets of the past. If she needs someone to comfort her I hope you can be that guy, it would mean the world to her. As stated earlier profesional is a good idea but it can not be forced apon anyone. If you are there for her the jealousy should fade although she may always be the jealous type. Its best to get this out in the open and find a happy solution before the relationship progresses too far. She introduced you to her family which means she sees something in you she likes. Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Rebecca589 +, writes (3 January 2010):
 I don't know how much I can help you but I can give you the best advice I can. I too had a very troubled past a little different from your gf but troubled non the less I was sexually abused for several years, that has put a very big strain on My marriage of 3 1/2 yrs a lot of times. The main thing is you need to be understanding when she gets upset because something reminds her of her past. Don't get upset because she got upset be there for her, the last thing she needs to feel is that you think she stupid for letting it bother you because some things may get easier in time but there will be times when it bothers her worse than others. You might want to suggest that she go to counciling if she feels it will help and be willing to go with her if she is wants. I hope everything works out for you guys.
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A
female
reader, juliaash123 +, writes (3 January 2010):
well i think she had a tough life but dont you think who she is now is what matters? Everyone makes mistakes and everyone goes through tough times but if you love her and she loves you and yall are doing fine then dont read to much into it. and remember who she is now is what really matters
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