A
female
age
36-40,
*rysberry
writes:so i have been seeing this guy for a few months and we are planning on moving in together (his idea). but last night we were talking and the labelling subject came up and he said He doesn't like labelling relationships. basically it is what it is and lets just see where it goes. he tells me he misses me all the time and says he wants to be with me but doesn't want to put a label on it. what does this mean? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, krysberry +, writes (17 November 2010):
krysberry is verified as being by the original poster of the question so i really wanted to thank you all for taking the time to answer my questions. I sat down with him tonight and i got my answers. We are exclusive. And now i know he doesn't want to be with anyone else. thanks again
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 tennisstar88 is right here, he might not be a player at all, by the sounds of it he isnt so dont worry but not labelling it can mean that it will be quite tricky because it means that he does not like commitment and that is not good for any female that is getting serious with a guy, what confuses me is that he wants you guys to move in so that its self is a huge commitment so am not sure which part that he is not wanting labeled just make sure that you sit down and talk to him about how you feel only he will have the answers for you.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Not necessarily..but I would ask him about commitment. Fine, he doesn't like labels, but you need to be on the same page. Are you guys exclusive or are you keeping this open? Is he going to be committed to you? These are questions you need to have the answer to.
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A
female
reader, krysberry +, writes (16 November 2010):
krysberry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionok so something else just popped into my head. does this make him a player? we say we miss eachother and want to be together and we are getting a place so is not labelling it really a bad thing?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 November 2010):
 I would straight out ask him what he means. And how he sees the relationship.
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A
female
reader, krysberry +, writes (16 November 2010):
krysberry is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you guys so Much some of your answers really helped now i know i need to at least find out if we are exclusive. i can live with at least that
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 It means he does not exclude dating other girls.
He may genuinely like you and not be actively on the prowl ,... but if he should happen into something he won't turn it down , because officially he has no girlfriend.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 November 2010):
Sounds like you're basically in a relationship if you're already shacking up especially since you've only been together for a few months. I have come across these guys before, they don't want to feel like they have to label this relationship that would make it too serious..instead let's go with the flow day by day and see how it unfolds. These guys are real optimists. Usually, I steer away from them because they have trouble committing.
One thing I like to put out, is you're going to be easily confused with him because you never know where you stand. Also since you're not officially couple status, I would ask him if you guys are at least exclusive..I would imagine you are since you're moving in together but it's best to verify. He should at least tell you that.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (16 November 2010):
He doesnt want you to be his girlfriend, sounds to me like he is not wanting any sort of commitments and if someone asks him has he a girlfriend he has the right to say no because thats not what you are to him.
You need to sit down and ask him exactly what he means by this, make sure that he doesnt think it is ok to get off with other girls as im afraid he might think that its an open relationship and he has no commitments to you, you need to clear it up with him. Another thing i think its to soon after a few months to move in with him.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (16 November 2010):
I hate labels. The reason is that labeling is just a way to place expectations on the future. The reality of the situation is that you spend time together, you do certain things together, and it's good, right? You're moving in together. There's no arguing about the objective reality of the situation.
But if you label yourselves as "boyfriend and girlfriend" or whatever, then each of you expects the other to live up to certain things that YOU understand to be part of that label. Oh, you don't want to cook me dinner, have sex without condoms, and give me unlimited blowjobs during your period? Then why did you agree to be my girlfriend, hmmm?? That's what girlfriends do!
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