A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I know it might be common here, but even despite the similar situation I feel lost. Well it appears I am almost 21 and I have never been in a relationship, even worse I've never been kissed. I've come into terms that I am gay and all. I've even tried a couple online dating sites. Needless to say they didn't work because I am bitching about my problem on here. What's strange to me is that at a quick glance I've been liked before by both guys and girls, but never felt like they understand where I am coming from as in I am a beginner in "love" which inevitibly leads to the person giving up on me -- which in turn makes me feel like I am not really worthy of being liked. I have supportive friends and family, but I feel like I am missing a companion that can support me on a different emotional level and vice versa. Furthermore, I feel that as each day passes on... I am only disconnecting myself more from the possibility of ever being in a relationship :/ what should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, antanelly  +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Honey
First of all, YOU are worthy of love just as much as anyone else on this earth.And its okay to feel the way u do sometimes because you're only human, but You have to believe that if you are capable of loving and you are just as much capable of being of loved. Love is about taking chances, not knowing where you will end and there is someone for everyone out there who knows maybe u've already met them or just havent met them yet.
Believe me i've been there . The fact is there is nothing wrong with u, you're beautiful both inside and out and you alone can tell urself that and you will see.
You have to believe it, feel it and you will walk on air dnt be afraid to take that chance and sometimes u may focus on what u think u dnt have and miss out on what you really have if u know what i mean.And im glad u have friends and family that support u and u need yourself to see that thats already love and its really not about worth anyway its about deserving and u sure as hell deserve it.
And that disconnection ur feeling is normal, but darl ur only 21 almost, live life to the fullest u only live once and ur a teen once so get out there i know u got it so flaunt it, remember not to waste time on looking for something u think u dnt have cause u will use up that time only to reach a dead end in this case disconnect.
Everyday is one day closer to you jst be patient live ur life and the rest will come to u ;)
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 August 2010):
 Did you know, that EVERYONE who's going into a relationship is new at it, no matter if they've never been kissed or if they've had 20 relationships before the new one they're starting? Everyone feels that anxiety and adrenaline rush of becoming emotionally and physically vulnerable to someone, and it's intoxicating and terrifying and dizzying.
You are scared of being rejected. You're scared that once someone gets to know you beyond the small talk and the superficial, they'll laugh or cringe. You're also very self-aware, or you wouldn't have thoughts of unworthiness. Think about where that comes from. Is it because of homophobic attitudes of society, or a negative self-image? Trust me, don't let homophobia stop you, and you're a good person who is WORTH connecting with someone else.
I will say this very directly - you can NOT wait for some guy to appear and start breaking down your millions of defenses and excuses, because unfortunately, most people don't have the patience to hack down emotional walls and thorns with a symbolic machete. YOU have to drop your defenses, take down your walls, and allow yourself to be vulnerable. Don't make excuses like "they don't understand that I'm a beginner" because EVERYONE's a beginner in a new relationship. You worried about being a good kisser? Watch a bunch of movies, envision how you want to be kissed...read internet articles on what makes a good and bad kisser, and stock up on the breath mints!
Do you know how many people are out there waiting to meet you? Do you realize how many people are lonely and are looking for someone who is interested in their soul? It's not just about the physical stuff. If it were, all it would take is to answer a casual hookup ad on Craigslist and go have anonymous sex in some dirty quick location, but I know that's not what you want, or you wouldn't be here. Love is risk, and you have to have the courage to take it. Remember, who you take it with is just as nervous as you are, no matter what their history is. In some ways, "experienced" people are more terrified because they HAVE been hurt before, so don't sweat it!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, jrunlucky +, writes (8 August 2010):
 first thing you should do is be positive and accept every little thing about yourself. many people who think that there is something wrong with them dont last long in relationships. if your a trust worthy person and good at heart than you've uped a level. you have to keep your mind open to possibilities and read others like you do an open book. the signs that a person likes you, even a little bit are usually they stare at you and sometimes blush a little when they look away. (if they're shy) some other signs are a little more radical. but if you cant pick them up you'll never know cause most people tend to sit in their seats and wait for their crush to do the talking. everyone in some way is new to love so your not the only one. some people just dont find the right person and try things that they prolly shouldnt have tried. but you've kept strong. never being kissed is kinda cute. :) hope i answered your question to your liking
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A
female
reader, Lobeau +, writes (8 August 2010):
Everyone is worthy of being liked and loved so don't say that you aren't.You just need to stay possitive.Theres someone out there for everyone,you just haven't found that person yet so just look around and don't be afraid to give it shot with someone.Try it out with whoever comes along. You'll find that special person for you if you just wait it out and let them come to you.
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