A
female
age
30-35,
*onties
writes:I have been seeing this guy for over a month now. He is sweet and all that. He seems to be the perfect kind of boyfriend. As for our relationship, I have no clear idea about it. First he said that he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now and we agreed; what we have is going to be just summer fling and it will end as I move to USA for college. However, as we continue this fling, we became more like boyfriend-girlfriend. Also, he keeps giving me innuendos (almost everytime I meet him)that I am the only girl in his life. I asked him once about it long time ago and he confirms that I am the only woman in his life right now.I knew about his plan visiting Canada in 2 years that he told me few weeks ago. Today when I asked him about it he said that he is not going anymore and when I asked why he said that 'the girl' is coming over here. I wanted to ask who the girl is but I didn't because I didn't want to appear to be a possessive bitch. Instead I asked him to visit me in the USA and he said the flight is too long. I asked him why he wanted to go to Canada to visit this girl and not to USA to meet me and he said that he has a lot of friends in Canada and she is one of them.I really want to know where we stand and what I mean to him on top of knowing who this girl is. Besides this problem, there's nothing wrong with him/us. He appears to be an amazing guy and nothing wrong except his lack of sensitivity and not wanting PDA (he's 7 years older than me)How can I ask him nicely without scaring him off because he is the kind of guy that doesn't like commitment. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Redstars14  +, writes (6 August 2010):
Ok he just wants a fling and is willing to do more for another girl than you...? Seriously there's probably something between them. And you deserve better, he isn't being straight with you. And you can't really ask him about this girl as you aren't technically in a relationsip with him as you said it was just a fling despite how he acts with you. Meet someone new and move on he doesn't deserve your time. He's just using you for some unknown reason, don't let him use you, don't let him walk all over you.
A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (6 August 2010):
 ok he doesnt like comittment and it s only a fling! what part of that says to you he wants anything else ? hes obviously just after sex or what ever. i have to agree with timmd on this. you have to cut all ties and find a guy who does want to comitt hes not going to no matter what you say or do hes obviously going to meet this girl perhaps hell have the same deal going on its only a canadian fling! really wake up sweety dont let this guy get to you more than he has hes not going to give you what you want. ask him if you want the answer! but beware its wont be what you want to hear. sorry good luck aphex xx
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (6 August 2010):
 You both agreed this would just be a summer fling and then it would end. Now you are changing the rules. He's meeting this girl because you two aren't in a relationship. To me, it sounds like you just agreed to those terms so you could continue seeing him.
He's not pretending to be something he's not, and he's doing exactly what you agreed to. You on the other hand, are not.
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