A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i really like him! thers a guy at work that i really like and the feelings are mutual or so he says but he says he is not ready for a relationship at the min! we shared a kiss when on a work night out but thts as far as it went. we text each other like 30 + times a day even when we have been in work together which is just so strange for me considering we are not together or anything! things he does and says confuse me to the point wer i just wish i didnt feel the way i do about him! the things he does in front of others is soo mad tht most people in work thought we wer a couple until i put them straight!Anyway my problem gets worse by the fact that during in a seperate work night out i ended up kissing someone else who i have worked with for a lot longer it was a drunken kiss and we both know that the only thing is he is holdng it against me like blackmail! as i hold a more senior posistion than him if ewt happens in work he will turn around and say but if you do ewt bout tht ill tell evryone about tht night! and im petrified the person i talk about above will find out coz i really really really like him and think that things between us could be good in the future! i know tht we are not in a relationship so it shouldnt matter but i cnt help feel tht if he finds out he would be really gutted about it!please help i hate going into work so much now that i am even considering walking out! i either go in to blackmail from guy 2 or heartache from guy 1 who has a hold over me coz i like him sooooo much!!
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female
reader, rebl1128  +, writes (20 August 2008):
Whatever you decide, please remember this and learn from it!! One of my coworkers always tells everyone to never dip your pen in the company ink, and it's the truth! Good luck.
A
female
reader, SuperSammie +, writes (20 August 2008):
 if you are worried that the blackmail will affect your relationhip with the other guy... then tell him yourself, just explain that you really like him and say u kissed another guy, it was drunk and ur worried how he will react. he will probably just tell you to stop being so silly and that he is fine with it.in terms of the guy blackmailing you, tell him to grow up n does he really think people will care if he tell people about a kiss. you wont lose your job unless its a profession which disagrees with it, but what you do in your own time shouldnt affect your job. but if you report him for blackmailing you at work then he could face losing his job.but if you dont stop him blackmailing you then he willl carry on blackmailing you for ever.hope everything goes well for you with the guy u really like, and stick up for yourself in terms of the blackmailer, or he wont stop and soon he will use you for more more and stuff.x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (20 August 2008):
Firstly, the guy blackmailing you can be scared off easily.
Either a) tell your boss he is threatening to spread horrible rumours about you, and it's making you want to quit, or b) get in first and tell people about it so he has nothing.
My advice is do both, and here's why.
When you had your drunken snog, you were single.
If a guy says "he doesn't want to be in a relationship" it means you are not in a relationship. If he's "gutted" when he finds out then it's his own fault for not getting you to be his girlfriend and just leaving you dangling. Perhaps it will teach him that you won't wait around forever.
Tell him you need to get it sorted one way or the other because it is simply not fair for him to expect you to act this way, and stay "faithful" to him when you get NOTHING in return. All he's doing at the moment is torturing you and stringing you along. People aren't going to think well of him at work when you tell them that you aren't a couple, as he's just using you.
If he says that he still doesn't want to be in a relationship then tell him you are going to start seeing other people, and that you may have kissed people in the past and although you want to be honest with him about it, you don't want to feel guilty about cheating when he has just been stringing you along. Tell him that he should also back off as he is hurting you by leading you on.
If he says you should get together properly then tell him straight away that while he was making his mind up it was really hurting you and you got drunk and kissed someone. But it was only a kiss and now you know that he DOES actually want to be with you, it will never happen again.
Good Luck!! xx
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