A
female
age
30-35,
*idepodslol
writes:We have had a rough relationship. 2 years+. Hes cheated, and always put me in competition. Now we have a baby and he loves him so much, but he cheated on me when i was pregnant. Its been an abusive relationship ever since the 5th month. He expresses his love verbally to me everyday but in orser for jim ti have sex with me i have to make a huge stink about it. He will watch porn when hes at work or when in in bed but refuses to touch me.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2019): Leave him!
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (1 January 2019):
 I'm totally confused by your post. On the one hand you state the relationship has been abusive for the majority of its duration, yet on the other hand you appear to be the one giving HIM a hard time because you want sex but he doesn't. Having to "make a huge stink" to get someone to have sex with you hardly bodes well for your future as a couple.
If I read your post correctly, the abuse is not the issue, but rather the lack of sex. Has he always been reluctant to have sex with you or is this just since the baby arrived? Some men have difficulty seeing the mother of their child as a sexual being. (Google "Madonna-whore complex" for more detail.)
I am guessing the baby was not planned, given what you say about the "rough" relationship and the alleged abuse. Perhaps he is worried about another "accident".
IF this is truly an abusive relationship (you give no details and don't seem to see it as a problem), then you need to give consideration to whether this is how you want to raise your son. When he is old enough to understand the dynamics between you and his father, what he sees he will assume is "normal". If the relationship is abusive, he will grow up believing this to be acceptable and will, more likely than not, replicate the behaviour he witnesses in his own relationships when he is older. Is this what you want for him and his future partner(s)?
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