A
female
age
41-50,
*PAgirl13
writes:My boyfriend of two years is leaving the state to return to school. He says he loves me and doesn't want to break up, but also says he doesn't want to maintain a relationship while he's in school and doesn't want me to move to be closer to him. When I suggest that the relationship is ending, he argues vehemently; when I imply commitment ,he balks. What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BadAsh6705 +, writes (8 February 2009):
 I can relate to this because I am kind of on the other end of the same situation...
I have been with a guy for a year and we were pretty serious, lived together and everything, but I started feeling very overwhelmed with schoolwork, my job and having a serious relationship all at once, it was like too much going on all the time! He moved out a few months back, and I broke up with him recently, but I still love him very much and I still want to see him. I feel like I am not in a position to be in a relationship right now because of all the other responsibilities in my life, it was causing me to be stressed out and take things out on him and I just don't have any time to spend with someone on a daily basis. It sounds like maybe he is feeling some of the same things. I hope things work out for you guys!
A
female
reader, higherlovetx +, writes (8 February 2009):
He can't have his cake & eat it too. See him when he's back home visiting, but don't end your social life by waiting for him. You have a life too...it sounds like he wants to live his, but doesn't want you to live yours.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Well, what you do is let him go to school, and you do your own thing and if you want to date other people. He doesn't want to maintain a relationship and he won't commit to not dating others and having you move closer, then the relationship is open to date, but not forever ended.....so you two are keeping your options open. I don't see what other choice you have...It isn't a bad thing to let him go to school and not insist he hold himself back for the relationship...it is a matter of timing....for him.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (8 February 2009):
 i understand what he is saying. he wants to concentrate on school right now but doesn't want you out of his life. sounds like he wants to maintain the friendship part while he is in school and possibly restart the relationship part during spring/summer breaks and finally when he is done school. it's up to you if you agree to this but it sounds very reasonable and mature if that is the case
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