A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband had been sleeping soundly for several hours when I came to bed late. He initiated sex and during the course of having sex he whispered another woman's name. I think he was having an erotic dream.I didn't recognize the name, when I asked who "she" was, he denied both, knowing anyone by that name, and having an erotic dream. Was she real...someone he knew, if only slightly...or was she a "player" in his erotic dream? Can men have a physical attraction to someone they have met briefly, or see occassionally or professionally (he's a salesman and calls on mostly the same people) and dream about them without being "involved" or wanting to be "involved" with them? Could he be thinking about having an affair? Where could the name have come from...if, as he maintains, he didn't know a woman with that name? He has never given me reason to suspect him of cheating. I'm confused, angry, and hurt.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): warning bells here. he was the one who initated sex, so he was somewhat awake, wasn't he... then he tops it of calling you this womans name while having sex with you. you get the picture. he did not innocently call you someone else's name. in his mind he was having sex with this someone else. do your homework girl. don't say you have not been warned.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): You've recieved plenty of great advice but in response to thatgothgirl20, i would like to clarify, that is more likely that what the OP was insinuating, was that since her husband was alseep for several hours, his mind was still foggy and he was still half asleep and initiated the sex because he was just having an erotic dream. In his fogginess and half asleepedness, he whispered the woman's name about whome he was just dreaming.
~Sy.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (27 July 2009):
 Question: He initiated sex when he was asleep?
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A
male
reader, Rogerramjet  +, writes (27 July 2009):
Well, first i have to say that i very rarely dream about made-up people. The people in my dreams are pretty much 100% people that i have known in my life.
That being said, you'd be surprised what is going on in our subconscious when we dream. I'm 30 now, and sometimes out of the blue i find i have a dream about a girl i had a crush on in grade 2 that i literally haven't thought about for 23 years..
I also find i have dreams about an ex-girlfriend of mine who completely devastated me. I HATE her, and there is NO way i would ever in a million years get back with her, yet she manages to sneak into my dreams every so often.
I don't think you can hold anything he may whisper in his sleep against him. Dreams sometimes open up things that we don't even know we're thinking about, ya know? It's not fair to him, or really an indicator infidelity, if you ask me.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (27 July 2009):
 This happened to me after I was first married, not the sex part but my husband whispering another female's name in his sleep. He whispered "Suzie...Suzie...Suzie" and then he kind of chuckled like he was enjoying himself. I was soooo upset, I didn't know anybody who was close to either of us named Suzie. Being a newlywed I pondered this for days and felt like crap the whole time. Finally I got up the courage to as him at supper one night. "What does the name Suzie mean to you?" He looked ups and smiled wistfully...it was the name of a favorite dog from his childhood.
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A
female
reader, kayla20  +, writes (27 July 2009):
 if you have no reason to suspect him of cheating i think you should let it drop.has he done anything out of the ordinary lately that could suggest he is cheating?men dream about different women all the time maybe the name he called out was just someone he had made up or something in his head but lets face it if it is a real person and his having an affair he is more than likely going to deny it.i think you should allow the accusations this time and if anything else comes up then confront him and start to become suspicious
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2009): All those rhetorics are all possible, but what is never set in stone is how a person really feels and thinks when it comes to any activity, throughout a day or night. Indeed, it is possible that the woman in his breath is real, but it is also very possible that his thoughts at the moment was lapsed with the thought of another woman's name he heard earlier or read somewhere.Of course, it is possible that she is a fantasy, but it is also very possible that she is the name of a supervisor he has a dislike to. It is possible that she is the next door neighbor's wife's daughter's baby sitter's dad's uncle's great grandfather's caretaker, but then it is also possible that it's a random name he thought of at the time.Sometimes, I call a female friend that I have by another name and every time she would say: "How many times is it now?"The possibilities are numerous, especially when there is no history nor reason of suspect that he is doing anything outside of your marriage. You have the 'right' to be irritated, but before jumping to conclusions with a zillion questions, think about all the possibilities and cross them out as you find out how plausible any of those possibilities can be. If you have a history of insecurity, paranoia and the like, then the problem is beyond that of him calling another woman's name. If not, then observe the possibilities and then the plausibilities.
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