A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my guy live together for about a year. However I was thinking about moving out because We never do anything special and we never go anywhere. In fact it's usually always on his terms on what he wants to do and even when we argue he needs to be always right. And he's moody. He was even hiding his phone a lot when before he would let me use it with no problem. He even told me after living with him for a year he didnt know if he saw a future with me. Just recently he had gotten very very sick. And almost died before his trip with his friends I was the only one by his side. After he got better he went out of town to with his friends. Now it's like he did a 180 and takes me out now and is there for me emotionally and really listens to what I have to say and doesn't have to be right when we have issues. He is now in a good mood all the time. He is also super affectionate all the time.I know I should be happy. But honestly it's freaking me out it's so out of character i feel like it's too good to be true and that he's cheating on me or getting ready to break up with me. He went from being a jerk to Prince Charming overnight. Why the sudden change? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (28 January 2015):
 I think you are waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to slip back in to the "jerk BF' mode that you almost left. And I do think it will happen. THAT is who he is. (the Jerk)
It could VERY well be that he "saw the light" and REALIZED that he has an AWESOME woman at his side and he SHOULD treat her right, and so he is.
Problem with SUCH a huge switch in mood and personality? It's hard for others to trust. Specially if they lived with the "Jerk" (or Mr. Hyde) for a long time and now even if they are now face with Dr. Jekyll (Prince Charming) - they KNOW what he is capable off.
I'd say talk to him. And if you feel UNSURE about him AND the relationship YOU decide if you want to BE with him or not, and PLAN accordingly. This is NOT just up to him and how he "acts". It's your life too.
What kind of "sick" did he get?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2015): When someone hides their phone from their partner, then something odd is going on and that something is usually cheating/porn (if you object to it)/ something dodgy. In my case with one guy it was drug dealing and fraud. With another ex, he would let me use his smartphone, ordering pizza etc., but he had a second phone that I didn't know about, one day he slipped up and I saw him using it and he had 50 or so fake social media accounts for chatting up women on. He used to carry his phone to the toilet with him sometimes, to "text his sister". Lol.. rubbish... he was texting his other women and then deleting the texts. But he slipped up...Believe me, if you never found out why he hid his phone, you may have already been cheated on/or he planned to cheat. As someone already said, personalities don't change overnight. Perhaps the scare of almost dying did make him realise he truly cared about you, but stay sharp. He may well slip back into his old uncaring ways and then what? Don't you love yourself enough to realise you deserve more???
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (27 January 2015):
When you pass 30, your personality is pretty much set. Huge changes in personality only happen as a consequence to a 'big event' and even then such changes are usually short lived.
So, even in the best case scenario, in which his personality change is a result of him being really sick and suddenly realizing how bad he's treated you and wanting to do better now he's got a second chance, it's probably not going to last. The other options: him feeling guilty about cheating on you or him trying to butter you up for a favor, are obviously not great ones.
So if you were truly planning on ending the relationship, in my opinion you might as well do it instead of waiting around for the other shoe to drop. If he reacts surprised you can tell him you don't understand what brought on this sudden change, you don't trust it to last, and it's a little late anyway.
I mean, you deserve someone who will treat you right all year long, not just when it suits him.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (27 January 2015):
 Maybe nearly dying made him think about what was really important in life? Have you talked to him about it?
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