| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I was with a guy long distance for a while, then I moved to be with him and it was too much too soon. He called it off.He has since called me and said he doesn't know where we stand and I just let him know i wasn't angry (I now realise a lot of our problems were not his fault and were circumstancial) .I feel I have left the door open for him as he was the one who called it so I can't chase him even though I think about him constantly and miss him terribly. (It's been two months since we broke up)Am I right ot stay silent and wait for him to contact me? I'm told that men need to do the chasing.My mum says it will never work unless he is the one to come to me now - as I will always feel insecure unless he makes a move towards me.Our problems before I think were largely caused by him feeling overwhelmed by me moving into his life too much too soon.Please help - I am tortured by knowing we had such a great time together and I'm trying to think about dating new people but I want to be with him!!!
View related questions:
broke up, insecure, long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, missdee +, writes (29 September 2005):
Has he contacted you since the time he called you and ask where you two stand? If not maybe try asking him out for a cup of coffee and some light conversation. Let him know that you "now realise a lot of our problems were were circumstancial" Don't throw blame in his direction.
Let him know you would like to maintain at least a friendship with him because you do care for him, and it it moves to the next level that you would like try that but at least stay friends.
Don't act insecure, and if he seems to be not interested or like he is not ready for a commitment. Try giving other men a try. This will give you a chance to see if there is something else out there you might like and make him want you more if he believes someone else wants you to.
Don't chase him though, he will run. If he declines your invitation for coffee, let it go at that. Make him make the next move.
|
