A
female
age
26-29,
*azima
writes:I have been talking to this guy from another state and he told me I was gorgegus, from there we have been messaging each other everyday. However in the beginning he moved alittle too fast for me, he was calling me beautiful and added "xx" at the end of every sentence, sent me good morning messages. He asked me to add him on facebook, snapchat and he gave me his phone number! I didnt mind and liked it however its all been different now. Everything has changed.He rarely messages me good morning, calls me beautiful or even trys to continue the conversation, despite him still continuing to message me (sometimes its me). I said to him "lol" at the end to see what he would say and he left an emoji. Like sometimes its all two or three word responses. I should mention he has depression, anxiety and stress so these also play a factor into his behavior. To summarise its just been hard to get a word out of him! I asked him yesterday if he was trying to push me away and he said he wasnt. Im not sure if he likes talking to me anymore?Sorry this is such a jumble mess but I guess what I want to know is why his gone from being so affectionate to mundane? And how do I get the first guy back?Thanks!
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 March 2017):
 I would not put in any more effort than he does. Not because I'd want to play games but I would try and NOT get too emotionally involved till you actually know there might BE something here. Something worth building on. And maybe there is, maybe there isn't.
When you think about it the REASON he contacted you was due to how you look. Not who you are or your (without a doubt) great personality - so it's pretty superficial to start with.
And if YOU have t obe realistic, is there a future with a guy who lives and work THAt far from you? If not really... then keep it platonic.
A
female
reader, Pazima +, writes (7 March 2017):
Pazima is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! I so needed to hear this and you are right; he might only be using me for an ego booster. Which is what I had initially assumed in the first place however he kept telling me he wasnt trying to push me away and he wanted me to text him as often as I could. But that leaves to him putting in effort. He told me he was a busy guy and he told me he was going to visit me in the next 2 months for a week but Im seeing how it all plays out in the end.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 March 2017):
Unfortunately, that IS common for online "friendships" or relationships. Over time, the novelty wears off.
If he is dealing with depression, anxiety, and stress he might not be able to sustain a high level of effort as he has a LOT on his plate. He might even USE the whole social media to find women to chat up to try and push away the depression, anxiety, and stress - however, it doesn't work in the long run. And some people use online "friendships" as an ego booster, a way to avoid boredom etc.
NOT every interaction you will have with men calling you beautiful will lead to ANYTHING meaningful.
I'd try and be realistic if I was you. He is an acquaintance (if even that!) nothing more, so his level of messages etc is fitting. If you are looking for more or hoping for more, this is not the guy for you. Like YOU said, he has WAY too much on his plate as it is.
You don't "get" that "first" guy back because the initial interest and contact from him IS not who he is. The guy you "see" online now is who he is. He can't sustain the initial effort and interest.
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