A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:HelloSo I need a bit of advice on how to go about a certain situation. Years ago, I met a man through mutual a mutual friend on a night out. He told me he was separated and had moved out of the marital home 7 months earlier, which my friend confirmed. We were all out in a group and all had a good evening. We saw him again the following week and everybody had a bit to drink and carried on drinking back at his. Cut a long story short we shared a kiss. And fell asleep, no more. This was it, I gathered he still was in love with his wife, no hard feelings. Fast forward a few years, I am settled with a lovely man, we have a house and a baby. A year after I met my partner, I discovered this married guy was his friend and he had gotten back together with his wife about 6 months after I met him. Anyway this married mans wife found out, and hit the roof. She hates me, on any social occasion she will turn her back on me, she will laugh and whisper to her husband if I walk past. She will whisper to other people if they are there are look at me and start laughing. At one event we went to I felt so uncomfortable as no one would speak to me, I don't go to the particular event anymore, my partner goes on his own. Now I didn't expect her to be my best friend, but we were both single consulting adults at the time of the kiss (no more) I didn't know her or her husband or my partner. I would never go anywhere near a man who was in a relationship but I was told they were separated. I do feel bad as they have children together and now I am a mother I understanc relationships are a lot more complicated than just separating but at the time I was young and single. She is also very chummy with all the other girlfriends/wives and me and my partner don't get invited out. I feel bad on my partner as we have no social life with his friends (he does at the gym etc) but we never go out with the couples.I would love a social life with my partner and other couples. Any advice?
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female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (19 June 2015):
Unfortunately there isn't much you can do about the situation.. Nor is it worth your time. Make new friends. get your husband involved.. and you need to speak about this to him. you are afterall in this together. Good luck. and try not to feel bad about this situation. it's not your fault. you can't help what other people feel. but when you know it wasn't you fault, there's not reason to take the blame on yourself :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2015): The new advice I would give you is to find some new friends.Join a group or volenteer it can be easy to meet new couples.Those other couples were never your friends because friends do not treat you badly.So your husband still hangs out with thease people even after they dissed you like that.Wow.You should be his best friend and he should support you.If his friends treat you like dirt that is just not right.What is his take on this?I really want to know.How can he condone others treating the woman he loves like this,the mother of his child?Your husband leaves you alone every year to hang out at some event with people that treat you badly?Why?You and your husband should go get some outside help to learn why he puts those people who are terrible to you above you as it seems to me that is what he is doing.You have a way bigger problem than not having friends.I do not care if he was friends with those people for years his family should always come first.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 June 2015):
 The typical double-standard issue.
SO many women DO this to other WOMEN. They blame their HUSBAND's indiscretion on the woman who was willing to kiss,date, sleep with their husband - BECAUSE it it easier to BLAME you, then live with a husband who wasn't faithful.
Homewrecker is the name you would get, even though YOU did not wreck their relationship or marriage.
Had SHE been seeing a guy, the GUY would not have to bear the same stigma as you.
But here is the thing. SOMEONE who is separated is NOT single, and should not date. IN ALL legal ways the person is STILL married till there is a divorce decree. You made a mistake in dating a guy who went back to his wife - you choice in man WAS your mistake, because let's face it - she wouldn't have all this resentment against you if HER husband hadn't told her SHIT about you.
Time to seek out new people to befriend. Though hobbies, interests and work. I'm sorry not much you can do about this situation. The woman is a super petty insecure woman, and she made herself feel good by pulling YOU down and dissecting you, disrespecting you. All you CAN do is feel sorry for her. And not do the same to another woman.
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