A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my boyfriend a year and a half ago after dating two years. He took the break up very hard, he was in counseling for like four months because it destroyed him so much. Because I felt kind of bad about everything, we reconnected about eight months ago and started hanging out, but when I went back to school and he was an hour away I didnt want to be in a long distance relationship. We were still getting together and seeing each other every few weekends though until he slept with this girl who has had sex with like six of his guy friends as well as a bunch of other guys. I was pretty disgusted and stopped talking to him. He never apologized (claimed through friends that since we weren't official he did nothing wrong even though he knew I had been sort of friends with this girl because of my job and it made it really awkward). Now, even after all this time, he acts so weird with me. If I see him, unless I say hi first, he won't acknowledge me, he just stares at me. We never have had an actual conversation. I know from others that supposedly he still loved me as recently as three months ago, but I also heard that he wants to think of me as someone who never was part of his life. I've been kind of seeing someone else now and I heard he was upset about that. As far as him, I hear he has had a few random sex hookups but no actual dates. The worst part of that is that he had sex again with that same girl that he had sex with that made me stop talking to him in the first place. I just don't know why he acts the way he does in general and towards me. Some of my friends have ex's that are friends with them, or they at least can have a conversation. Why does he act like I don't exist, especially when he is the one that did the wrong thing? I really just want to understand how he thinks, at this point I don't know if its ever possible to date again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): If you two had reconnected in hopes of getting back together then I can understand not being too chuffed about him sleeping with another woman. Technically he was single and could see whomever he wanted, but if he was hoping for a reconciliation then he exercised poor judgment. Were it me, I would not have expected an apology. I just wouldn't have taken him back. No anger, no fuss, no muss, no hard feelings. And no getting back together. Good for you that you didn't.
There isn't any point in keeping in touch as friends. Especially when the break up was painful and either one of you is seeing someone else. Carrying around baggage from the past hardly seems a good way to have a promising future with someone else. If the worst you can say about him is he won't acknowledge your presence then things can't be all bad. It's not as though he is stalking you or spreading rumours about you.
What difference does it make how he thinks? Do you really have that much free time on your hands to ponder it? He isn't part of your life anymore. You've got someone new. Move on and stopping looking back.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): You are selfish. Don't make everything about you...
Let him live his life. His life doesn't revolve around you. You may know that, but you don't seem to recognize it.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (24 July 2011):
Sorry, but you dumped him. He really isn't under any obligation to have anything to do with you at all. Far too much has happened between you to be friends anymore. He obviously took it badly, and once something like this has happened it's virtually impossible to just be 'friends.
And, as the others have said, you have no say at all in what women he chooses to sleep with. You gave up all your rights to exclusivity when you dumped him.
You two both need to move on and accept that neither of you can be friends or really have anything to do with each other at all.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): For the record, our relationship was a good one, the reason we broke up was because he pretty much wanted me to be with him every minute even though I had just started college and wanted to make new friends and spend time with other people. As friends, nothing more but he didnt understand. We fought only about that really. And he needed the counseling because he couldn't handle us not being together anymore basicallly. And I never insisted on getting an apology, it just seemed a little rude to be sleeping with me and pushing for us to get back together, and then go sleep with some slut and expect me not to be a little upset. So ya an apology would have been nice but not demanded or anything.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): sadly i agree with both of them
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A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (24 July 2011):
 I agree with Bernard, your crazy if you think you two can go back to just being friends after everything that happened between the two of you.
And just for the record after you have broken up with someone you no longer have a say about who they choose to sleep with. So insisting that he was in the wrong and owes you an apology isn't helping to convince him that you are ready or worthy to be his friend again.
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