A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:First I live in a foreign country and in a small town and luckily for the past five years I have had a male friend who I have spent a lot of time with. In the past I have helped him with many things and last year when my Mum was diagnosed with breast cancer he'd always come round and cheer me up.As a person he is emotionally cold but he has an amazing sense of humour. Recently we started having a FWB relationship which we both seemed to be cool with the idea, we're consenting adults and don't want to have a serious relationship...all seems good so far.Two weeks ago regrettably my Mum has been diagnosed with a new cancer and I sent him a message telling me and he just replied I'm sorry. Being away from my Mum,family and friends 4days later I just had an emotional breakdown. I sent him messages if he could come round like I had before.....nothing.I called him ...no answer. I went round to his house and he just stood away from me just watching me cry my eyes out. He only said "What do you expect me to do about it"? I called him a twat and left. Nearly two weeks have gone by and he hasn't contacted me. We were once so close? Why is behaving like this after we have been such good friends in the past? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (31 March 2014):
 really sex does change everything.
even if you guys want to be FWB... by adding sex it detracts from the friend part... now he fears if he treats you like a friend it will be misinterpreted as being more than fuck buddies so he erred on the side of caution to make sure you know he's NOT into you that way.
sadly he can't manage to understand what FWB means... it's FRIENDS with benefits... not BENEFITS for the friendly....
his loss and yours and i'm sorry for you and your mom.... and the fact that your friend let you down. but he is not sure now how to set boundaries so he erred on the side of being an idiot.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 March 2014):
 Sex changes thing...especially friendships. You have gotten more clingy (expecting him to support you through an emotional time) and he has gotten more distant (because he wants to make it clear that he isn't your boyfriend or friend anymore)...
This is what friends with benefits is...it means random sex and no friendship.
Get rid of him out of your life and don't allow yourself to be used.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 March 2014):
 It's because, earlier, he was able to get by with some superficial "oh, so sorries".... and NOW, you need some real, genuine concern....
What you've done, is change the dynamics... and, thereby, you've uncovered that he REALLY wasn't interested in you any more than to get you in to bed and enjoy your lady-parts.....
I think you've got to "uncouple" from him, and get on with your life.....
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSorry but we were good friends before the FWB started....if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be there for him. I guess women see friendship much stronger than men.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2014): He is an emotionally cold person, and you agreed to enter a fwb with him - a relationship which is meant to sever the emotional connection and just leave the sexual ones. I'm not really surprised by his reaction, but don't let it get you down, I hope your mum gets better.
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