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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I had dated a guy about five years ago - Our relationship lasted about 1 year. We were very passionate and I felt like we got along well and had a lot in common. Well we broke up eventually and he met someone new about 4 years ago. I told him I really was in love with him and was hoping we could get back together - he basically told me to "never look back"So I didn't and I moved on and never contacted him again. Last week he Emailed me - ask me how I was and that he wanted me to call him. I didnt call because i was nervous about it so i emailed him instead and told him I was doing ok. He emailed me back to tell me he was getting married in a month to the person he met 4 years ago. I asked him why he would want me to call him then, and he said he was feeling a bit nostalgic!?!? What is that supposed to mean! and Why would he do that to me knowing that I was in love with him all those years ago??
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 I can't help feeling that the earlier responses are a little harsh towards this guy. The run up to getting married can be a pretty difficult time. It's normal that a man would be thinking things through, trying to put his life so far in context and trying to work out how he feels. This isn't stuff that we can talk to male friends about. You were a very significant part of his life not that long ago and it just doesn't seem that surprising to me that he would want to talk to you as part of trying to work out for himself how he is feeling. I don't think he is looking to cheat. Having said that, if you still have strong feelings for him, then obviously stay away.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2009): A bit nostalgic? I think that means 'he' wants once last 'good time' romp. That's the way I am seeing it. Gosh, you are the lucky girl that got away here, aren't you. As dearkelja has stated, he is one self-involved man of pretty slimely character. He's lying and attempting to cheat on his fiancee, here. And he wants to make you an accomplice in his lies and deceit. So your concerns are justified here. You've done remarkably well..getting over this jerk, the past 4 years. Stay on track and keep on truckin, girl...give his butt a final, big kick to the curb, hun. And move on to a happier life without him. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 He has cold feet about the marriage and he might be wondering if u still feel the same about him as you did 4 years ago just to see what his options might be. it`s very selfish and unfair to both you and the new woman!!! You emailed him back because you are polite...........however i would not continue communicating with him anymore. he needs to leave you alone so u can continue to move on and he also needs to follow through with the promise to marry that woman. perhaps one day when you are both in committed relationships friendly emails may be then exchanged but it doesn't sound like its a good time now
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A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (28 June 2009):
 I think he is just feeling a bit anxious about the marriage and thought he'd just see what you're up to. It was very selfish for him to contact you knowing how you felt. Perhaps he just wanted to know that he was still vital for another woman since he is now going to be "tied down". I think he was just looking for a bit of an ego boost.
Best that you didn't call him, you for sure don't want to get your emotions tied up with that situation AND you don't want to get your hopes up that he would leave this situation for you. That's what it would do for me, not sure if you would have given it a thought.
He is being selfish and only thinking about himself. Leave him be.
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A
female
reader, jadeybabe116 +, writes (28 June 2009):
Honey, run away! This man is nothing but trouble that you do not need. He obviously has no idea what he wants, and messing around trying to figure that out by putting you (and probably the fiance!) through the ringer is immature and inexcusable. Do not return his calls, mark his email as junk, and move on with your life.
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