A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I don't even know where to start. I've had a boyfriend for just under 2yrs. The last 6 months he's been different...like taking me for granted. He wouldnt take me seriously, didnt want to hang around me, would make fun of me and my weight and lie about going out to bars with female friends etc. He has threatened to punch me in the face but never did it, but he was very verbally abusive for a period of time. It eventually stopped but I think the damage to me emotionally is already done. I got tired of it and after several warning I gave him, I said enough was enough. I had to go home for 2months during the summer so we were apart. I was relieved, but then he did a total 180. He started calling, messaging me ALL the time. Now that I am back in the same city as him he is driving me crazy! He has become insanely clingy, like literally when we hang out he always has to have his arms around me, kissing me every 5 seconds etc. but it's like he's smothering me! Sometimes I just want to sit and watch a movie or something u know? He's also very emotional immature. He has this pouty voice he uses to try and get his way, kinda like baby talk? He gets mad though if things dont go his way and will wear me down until I give in. When I blow up and tell him he needs to leave or I just cant deal with it, he cries like a baby! I feel no passion or attraction anymore, I pull back when he tries to kiss me, let alone anything else!I want OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. Problem? #1 I dont know how to stand my ground when he guilt trips me, #2 its supposed to be our 2yr anniversary in a week, #3 I'm afraid of the repercussions. You see I've tried to break up w/ him twice, but he cries so much and promises to be better and that he'll kill himself...i can hold my ground a little while but then i always cave. I feel so bad when people cry in front of me. Or once i leave to try to avoid the guilt trips he calls nonstop! The other thing is im afraid of what he might do to himself or me if we breakup. He says I'm his everything and he has no reason to live w/o. He says that "no one will love u more than me" and "its not over til i say its over" which scares me. He is vindictive and has a wicked temper. Im afraid he's going to try and ruin my life...and I actually am afraid that he would try and break in my house or something in the middle of the night. I am physically afraid of him, and yeah ive looked into a restraining order but he does not listen to authority, it would piss him off more and i know he would try and get revenge. My parents dont like him (obviously yes i know i am stupid, should been clue #1) so they thought the breakup in June was permanent. Cuz i have only been talking/hanging with him again for about a month. I think he would try n ruin the relationship I have with my parents. HELP!!! i dont know what to do anymore....he drives me crazy when I'm with him, but i'm physically afraid of what he might do to me if I am without him? I only stay out of fear really...
View related questions:
anniversary, emotional blackmail, immature, kissing, period, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2009): If you really do not want to be with him (and it sounds like you don't) then tell him. Make sure you tell him in a safe place i.e. with a friend or family member with you, just incase he might do something to you. Then, move on, there are loads more fishes in the sea. You are not responsible for any of his actions. Don't feel guilty. If you feel uncomfortable in this relationship-you need to put a stop to it. I had a friend who simply did my head in ( I know it's not the same) but I could not deal with my friend-so we broke up. Now, I feel better instead of feeling trapped and uncomfortable. P.S. Gook luck
A
female
reader, ellie:)  +, writes (3 November 2009):
 Dump him! Dump him! Dump Him!
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (3 November 2009):
First of all, when you break with him this time, make sure you do it in a public place where you are safe, and have a friend with you who can get you away as quickly as possible. Secondly, when you dump him, make it very short and very calm. Tell him it's over and you never want to hear from him again. Thirdly, when he does try the guilt trip, just get out of there. Don't want, go with your friend and get away as quickly as possible.
Once you've done that, make sure a few of your friends know what has happened, and make sure your parents know that you've dumped him again and he seems like the sort of guy who will hurt you. You need to make sure people know so they can look out for you.
I'm glad you've realized this relationship is bad, and that this guy is really terrible. Don't be afraid, because he will ruin your life. Stand up to him, dump him and just get away. If you have to change your phone number and email, do it. But don't stay out of fear. Stand up and get away from him. He sounds like a lot of mouth to me, more than anything else.
...............................
|
