A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:And old friend and I just both ended some long/term relationship. We became both interested in eachother but niether of us are ready to enter another serious relationship. We decided to yo hangout and and possibly be friends with benefits and just enjoy eacother and see if it leads anywhere. I was totally okay with this untill when we actually started hanging out... I started to really like him and he kissed me and I knew if we were to go further and have sex I would get attached. So I told him that I only wanna do this if we know this is going to lead somewhere. He said that he still isn't ready for a relationship but he said he doesn't know the future and will not waste my time and if and when he knows doesn't want to date me he will let me know and we can stop doing what we are doing. Is this wrong? Should not do anything? I just need people's opinions
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 January 2015):
 I think you did right in holding back.
Neither OF you are ready for a new relationship, but many MORE guy can still have a FWB/sexual relationship, where as MANY women gets attached through the intimacy and sex.
He has ALREADY told you, he is NOT looking for a relationship. Not now, and goodness know if he ever will WITH YOU. What he DOES want is sex and no strings.
If you CAN NOT handle that, DO NOT do it.
FWB situations is often where the girl is HOPING that the sex will lead to more, and the guy is just enjoying the non-committal sex till the girl wants more, then he will walk.
Judging by ALL the post I have seen in my years here on DC, FWB is RARELY a good idea for women. Because WE DO get attached when having sex, cuddling on the couch watching TV and so forth. And in MOST cases, women KEEP having sex with their FWB hoping he will SEE what a great girl he has RIGHT in front of him. Guys on the other hand, don't WANT to date a FWB girl. They like the sex, the "gf-experience" and the fact that they can WALK AWAY at any point in time.
My advice, don't do it.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (8 January 2015):
 He's already wasting your time because he doesn't want to date you: he just wants friendship and sex with no commitments.
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (8 January 2015):
You already know the answer, and you are looking for some to say "yeah just go with it and have fun." Problem is, you know in your heart it may not lead to anything, and you may end up getting hurt.
What you have to offer is worth much more than just a good time. You are ready to be in a relationship again, so you should save it for someone who has the same interest.
Don't just do something because you are hoping to get something...Know to yourself that it's worth it.
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A
female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (8 January 2015):
It's not wrong if you want it as well. But i must say, just because you get attached doesn't mean he is going to.
You have to decide for yourself if you can deal with it if and when it comes to an end. If you don't think you can cope with a heartbreak then, it's better to stop this before it gets completely out of control and you hurt yourself all over again.
Sometimes it's better to spend some time with yourself than to run into something else.
Ultimately the choice is yours. There's nothing right or wrong. It's just what you can deal with and what you can't
Look out for yourself. Good luck :)
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