A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i've fallen in love with this guy i met online, i trust him completely... i know it sounds dodgy but, he's a friend of the family and they all trust him so i guess he's ok. i really like him, we speak every day but recently he's been wanting to see me in my underwear over the webcam, i'm not willing to do that and everytime he asks we argue and i hate it! he says i'm being selfish and i dont care about what he wants. it sounds stupid and i know i should probably just blank him but i really dont want too. am i being stupid about this, should i give him what he wants? how can i explain how i feel to him without hurting him, i really care for him and dont want to loose this! he's my age and lives in france by the way
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2009): You don't like the idea and he shouldn't try to force you. For all you know there could be someone else round there watching you on his computer. You are not being selfish, he is!
A
female
reader, Aida  +, writes (13 May 2009):
 this guy sounds like a loser. if he can't take no for an answer then he isn't worth your time. besides if he REALLY liked you he'd be more interested in getting to know you as a person and not be so adamant about wanting to see you half naked on cam. don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. get rid of him like the useless trash that he is and find someone closer to home.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): (i forgot to write down that code thing) i just wanted to thank everyone so much, your advice is amazing... it was what i intended to do in any case but i guess he just makes me feel so pathetic and small and like its what i should be doing. i guess i dont really love him i love the idea of me and him but i think it would be closer to say i hate him, i hate how he makes me feel so insignificant... going to move on finally. thankyou for all your kind words and taking your time to comfort me and give me a backbone, love xx
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A
male
reader, romance888 +, writes (13 May 2009):
just say no. ask him if he knows how to spelll no, tell him no is spelll n o that keeps it very simple
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A
female
reader, mouseface +, writes (13 May 2009):
NOOOO!!! he'll probably just get off from it, then send it 2 all his friends...it could end up 2 one of ur OWN family members...then everything will b just a big horrible mess
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A
female
reader, Lina319 +, writes (13 May 2009):
 DO NOT GIVE IN TO HIS CORNY, LAME, PATHETIC, BS CONTROLLING MAN CRAPOLA. Tell him to find some skank on the computer who will willingly spread her legs and show off her ASSets on webcam for him.
Respect yourself, and if you feel uncomfortable doing this, then listen to your intuition, and do not do it. My ex used to play that corny game with me all the time, oh show me this, do that for me, and it was always in regard to sex, if i didnt do it, he would call me a selfish bitch who didnt care about him, mind you this was a grown ass man, or rather a little adolescent punk. I too would argue, having to prove to him that it had nothing to do with caring about him, it was just my personal decision to not do some of the things he wanted.
I kicked his ass to the curb, eventually, don't wait as long as I did, if he values you as a woman, as a person, as a friend/ lover, whatever, he will take you denying him like a man, and value you even more for being a classy woman. If he doesn't, he can go you know what himself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): How are you being selfish? It's just called common decency, you shouldn't show someone your underwear online unless they've already seen it in person
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A
male
reader, mytwocents +, writes (13 May 2009):
 I don't get a full sense of your relationship with him (like how long you've known him; how well you know him; or if you've actually met him in person before). But, if you actually know--and trust--him and you're just having a long-distance relationship for whatever reasons, I think you should consider it.
If you can't enjoy traditional intimacy with someone because of distance, it's natural to crave other versions of it. He's not asking you to be naked or to do other graphic things on camera, so it seems pretty tame and (frankly) healthy. Thanks to modern technology we can enjoy things like this better than ever.
However, if you don't really know him well, if you think he'll share your private images inappropriately, or he's unwilling to do the same for you, you should think twice about it.
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A
female
reader, KaylaLeeann  +, writes (13 May 2009):
Well .. Do you actually know him is the question.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): The Answer is no. he is getting off on you and will go and find someone else, charm them to do the same.
Think.
would you advise your daughter to do this? (i know you don't have one but you get my drift) if the answer is no. then you know what to do.
Just say No. You are not comfortable to do this. And it only happens in real life. If he interested he will find a way to see you.
Star.x.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2009): you just need to explain to him that you don't want to show him yourself on webcam. if he really cares about you he should understand that.
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