A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi..My boyfriend and I have been together for about 2 years. We had many break ups but none of them where over serious issues. But about 2 months ago we broke up and only got back together after one month and a lot of begging from my side. We both love each other very much but ever since our break up, he just hasn’t been the same. He treats me like I am nothing most of the time for example. Telling me to come online msn and then ditching me a minute later. He spends most of his time with his friends now and I hardly get to see him and when I do get to chat to him we hardly talk. I really love him so I am willing to stay in the relationship and hopefully make it work out. He said to me that he will never be the same way again but he will never stop loving me.I think for the past few days he suddenly got the idea that his life is nothing in our town and he is sick of his work and people backstabbing him. So he wants to leave town and find a job somewhere else. I think that is quite selfish of him because that will mean leaving me, his friends and people who care about him. I really want him to reconsider but I don’t think I am in the position to tell him to stay. I have told him that after I matriculate things will be different. We can both move somewhere together but he thinks he is holding me back… this is really bothering me. I don’t want to be without him, I have come to far to let this relationship end like this. Can anyone give me some advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): yeah it really seems like you have been in the same situation but telling me to leave him i just dont know. i really love him and i have been through so much with him i dont want to waste it all. I cant just let go. he means too much to me.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 If he wants to leave and it is without you, he doesn't care too much about being with you. I think him saying he is holding you back is an excuse. You said he has said he doesn't feel the same but will always love you. That's not a good sign. Ditching you all the time is enough for you to move on anyway, he isn't treating you how you should be treated. I think he wants to move on from you and maybe it would be best to let it happen. You are holding on to a relationship that has been over for quite some time. He now has new interests and you must go on too. It's so hard I know, I have been here before too. My ex and I had broken up a few times but nothing serious, then broke up for real for 2 months. We ended up getting back together because we loved each other but it wasn't the same. So it dragged out for a few more months and ended of course. He was giving me all the signs your boyfriend is giving you now, but because I was in love I was determined to make it work. It goes both ways however- which I didn't realize. You need both people to make it want to work, he doesn't seem to want to with you. I would flat out ask him to put the bullshit aside and tell you how he really feels, if the relationship is going anywhere or if he just wants out. You probably don't want to do it for fear of the answer but it has to be done. This way you can move on too and stop the heartache and wasting your time for someone who has already given up. I wish you the best of luck, feel free to email me if you want.
P.S.- This website helped me out a lot and put it all into perspective. http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-a-Break-Up
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A
female
reader, Squidgepoo +, writes (15 December 2008):
If you break up over things that aren't "serious" then you don't love eachother, or at least you don't love him. It may be just a comfort level you're not willing to give up. Let him go make a life for himself.
And him saying he's holding you back may be his way of getting out of it without looking like the bad guy.
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