A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: bf cheated on me with some online friends by cybering we are 18 and know each other in RL. At the time we were going through some fights and i have been mean to him in alot of ways the past months(i wasn't always like this)and pushed him over the edge he said he wanted to get back at me..and i found out that he had a emotional relationship with someone online and i found this out by reading his emails which was a bad idea i wasn't thinking at the time and was very upset..they exchanged numbers and he told me he wanted to meet "sara"..and he brought up my past LD relationship that i had (my ex) because when we were dating i still had feeling for my ex and when he asked me if i would do "things" with him if i met him i said "i don't know" but i know that i prob wouldn't have i just had "thoughts".I realized how stupid i was that my ex wasn't someone i wanted to be with he was just someone i couldn't let go of at the time.. either way i wasn't being fair to him i really hurted him alot so i stoped contact with my ex in every way and moved on but then this happened.. he use to talk to "sara" but now he told me that he isn't going to talk to her anymore..but he says he feels like im forcing him to do this i wanted him to delete her from his contacts on the site but he says that since i claimed that i might leave him 4 him not deleteing her(we both want to get back together) that why lose a friend if i end up leaving..i feel like im not trying to force him i just feel uncomfable with him keeping her around even if he stopped talking..(1)is what im trying to do wrong? am i really forcing him? he says hes willing to work things out and we have been doing good hanging out and really having a good time together but whenever i bring her up the happiness disapears...(2)is he unsure that won't stay after everything he did?(3) he also tells me he doesn't mind having "slutty" online friends but thats makes me way uncomfortable. am i too controling? how do i make it seem like im not? i don't want to control his life
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cheated on me, exchanged numbers, get back together, my ex Reply to this Question
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male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (16 June 2010):
 I get the feeling both of you are in this "relationship" for the wrong reasons.
Usually people are together because they want to. You two seem to be together because... well I don't know really. perhaps because you are afraid to be alone? Afraid to be the one to have to end it?
WHY are you two together?
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (16 June 2010):
I would STRONGLY urge you to leave him. Rather than sort the relationship out, he cheated. Unless he cuts contact with her, you need to go because he will do it again.
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A
male
reader, lsickle +, writes (16 June 2010):
well it sounds like he is very confused and angry and it seems like there are thoughts of betrayel on both parts. He doesnt seem to have much confidence in yur willingness to stay. But an emotional affair is just as bad as physical one. The only way the urge for u to be in control of your relationship and him to subside is you would have to truly be able to change that yourself. You said how can i hide it well im sorry to say you may for a little while but hiding it just means down the road it will rear its ugly head. Remember this if anything the only person on earth you can change....is yourself. P.S. Controlling someone elses actions and not being able to have trust in a relationship leads to a full time job checking up on him and fighting about everyhing. I ask you will this relationship improve your life or just turn into a game of cat and mouse and ultimatly misery and defeat. (shrugs shoulders)
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