A
female
age
41-50,
*weetwoman
writes:My husband left me with 2kids for his mistress. He still contacting me for the kids and every time he visited us, he left me broken hearted. I am mentally and emotionally tortured thinking he will see his mistress again after he saw me. I am confused and hate myself as I cant help rejecting him… he wanted to come back for the sake of the kids and he said he still love me but he is not willing to give up his mistress… he wants me and his mistress at the same time… please help me on what should I do. I told him that I cant accept that we are 2 woman in his life. I want to forget my husband but how?
View related questions:
mistress Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LifeCoach  +, writes (30 May 2010):
This is very tragic.. I want to share that I'm sure he does love you.. And I'm sure he loves the other woman too.. If you don't want to live with this situation you have to take control over your life. You should start by evaluating if you really want him after what he is putting you through. He has been extreemly selfish to say the least. You have come to a cross roads in your life and you
must make a decision before you go through any more trauma. You have to think about what you want... If you want him and be sure to stay you might have to accept this situation.. However if this situation is too much for you to bare like most people you will have to give him a ultimation! You should write him a letter and explain that you are no longer willing to accomodate this life with him. That you are at a place where you have to protect your well being.. And you will not allow yourself to be treated this way.. He will have to make a choice either you or her.. Let him know if he chooses you that you will require him to cut off all communication with the other woman.. All thier friends and common places that they met.. That you are willing to make a go at it with him alone.. Most men will choose there wides over the other woman,,, because even if they married the other woman it won't last long because of the guilt of destoying this marrage and the kids will now be from a broken home. The thing is only you can make this choice as it can cone out both ways.. Another truth.. The more the other person knows you want them.. They will not feel threatened by loosing you. However if yoh make it clear that as much as you still live him you have to do what's right for your self.. That means getting on with your life and letting go of the Mess that you are in.. Ythe kids need a happy mother whom is stable and not at the mercy of him givin you hope.. Let him know he is either in along with you or he is out! But only you k ow the situation you are in so think deeply before you do anything.. But I'd I were you... I'd make it clear that know one is perfect and you are willing to make your marraige work and you want to reunite the family.. Then tell him that he has to choose and it will be his choice as you don't want to pressure him.. Tell him no matter what happens that life goes on and maybe you will fund someone that deserves you.. That the time has come and the ball is in his court.. Good luck and I hope it works put for you...
A
female
reader, sweetiebabes +, writes (22 May 2010):
 I know how hurt and devastated you are now, an excruciating pain. I don't want to assume on anything for you have not shared much to understand the full story of your problem.I feel you both need some space as of the moment to think clearly, and when you are both ready, you need to sit down with him and talk to him, a heart to heart talk. Openly talk with each other with honesty and figure out why this is happening in your marriage. There is a possibility he looked somewhere else for he is not getting what he wants from home. There must be deep reasons why. Weigh down things with a clear mind. Don't speak when you feel you have doubts for this will just complicate more. If you feel his reasons are justifiable and fair enough for your marriage to work out, then stay with him. But the other woman must be completely out of his life. It may not be easy because of trust issues but you will overcome these things if you are both willing to put some effort to build a stronger relationship and make changes for peace and harmony. But always remember, do the right thing. Stand up for what is right even if it will cause losing him.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich +, writes (22 May 2010):
 Hello my dear co' Filipina. First of all im so sorry about what is happening to you. 2nd i beg you to please stay strong emotionally and physically. You will need it for everybodies concern. I mean you and the two Children of yours. 3rd i would like to tell you to move on now for your own life. He dont deserve you and you do deserve a better man. I dont wanna say that he is a bad person" in this case he is very selfish. He is only looking for his own advantage and this must not be happening in 1 couple or husband and wife. Specially you two have children and married. He knew that you love him, that is the reason he is doing that to you. Please dont let him do that to you. dont let him manipulate you. You have to decide, go,leave, move on, love your kids and love your self OR you allow him to comeback to you and you suffer all your life including your children. He can even promise you now that he will change and will stay only to you and your children, but how you will deal with this? Once the glass has already even a little crack or brake, this can not be anymore fix by super glue. Sister love is wonderfull but it also hell if the love is only in one sided. You are still young and theirs a better life waiting for you ahead. I wish you good luch and hoping that you find your peace..
...............................
|
