A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i are in our 20s, 22 and 23. he wants to marry me but my question is that this is his first serious relationship, but not mine. in fact he was a virgin before me. i wasnt. i love him but am worrying he will feel like he missed out on meeting a variety of people and might regret stopping at me. and we are both still really young although many of my friends are married with kids. how should i approach this? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, df30 +, writes (3 March 2010):
Ok I am just like your bf, I was a virgin before I met my current gf, not that I didn't do anything with other girls but I never really wanted a gf so I didn't have one, and by the way i tried to get laid a bunch of times like anyone else but my dilema was i didn't want to have sex with easy women and I just felt sex was something special, not a a one night deal. So here i am in my first serious relationship and the girl i'm with is awesome, just everything i need, but she had a serious bf for over two years. She told me she loves me so much but was worried that I didn't "see enough people before her" like i would feel i missed out and would eventually leave her because of curiousity. Heres why that isn't true, I don't have to date someone for 8 months just to realize their a piece of shit, one or two dates and I know if its someone i want to have around for the long haul. Finally i found someone that was perfect and I feel no remorse in saying I could spend the rest of my life with her. I know what I want and I'm not going to look around and come back later and say "well i couldn't find anything better". he knows you and sees what he wants trust in that, just tell him to take it slow just to make sure.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2010): That means nothing..if he loves you and wants to marry you, how he treats you and respects you now is all that matters. Would you rather be with someone who's been with the whole block? What makes you feel you're not good enough to be the right person for him, and that he'll regret it? Some of the best people to be with are the ones who don't ever worry or think about screwing more than one person or being with more than one person. Be proud to you have someone who saved all their love for you. Go with your gut feeling about how he treats you and loves you and how you love him and want to be in life, not how things might turn out if one or the other isn't premiscuous today or in the past. If you want you can ask him, now, how he feels about that, and if he'll be able to promise to refrain from cheating around or leaving you for that reason in the future. Maybe it will help that he didn't have any previous relationships to compare his current life to, and so there will be no comparing and doubts, that way.. It could be a very great positive in your lives because of that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (2 March 2010):
He won't if he loves you. Simple as that. And to be honest, it sounds like he does. Maybe he was waiting for Miss Right, and maybe he found her!
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