A
female
age
26-29,
*talianabaybay
writes:I am 13 and there is is boy that i really like. we've been going out for about 3weeks and 1night we were talking on the phone and he said,"are you a virgin?" so i said "yes" and then he said "do you want me to change that?" i didnt say anything back bacause i was too shocked. i dont want to have sex yet cause im too young but i really like him and im afraid to lose him. what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): Okay im 14 and you so do not want to lose it!! Trust me, im still a virgin i have a boyfriend of 7 months and hes asked if we could and i said no. If that guy doesnt respect you hes not worth it even if you do like him a lot. Plus chances are you will end up pregnant even if he uses a condom. Neither of you are emmotionally prepared. The best thing is to lose your virginity to the guy youre going to marry. Of course after your married. You are 13 and highly might not marry this guy even if you do like him a lot. Both my mom and my bestfriend tell me so about me and my boyfriend its hard but you have to accept it. If you have to think twice dont do it. Hope i was a little help!
A
female
reader, Lola1  +, writes (23 September 2009):
 WAY to GO!
And if you are struggling with finding the words, staying strong or are sad due to an unpleasant outcome, come back and we'll talk more...
Stay Strong! Hugs!
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A
female
reader, italianabaybay +, writes (23 September 2009):
italianabaybay is verified as being by the original poster of the question thank you everyone has was give me some answers. i will tell him that i am not ready and if he's ok with that then i will stay with him but if he still wants to have sex with me then ill say no and dump him.
thanks again
-italianabaybay
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2009): Hey girl i'm glad u DON'T WANNA DO THAT.Pre-marital sex is too bad.Even the bible condemns it.It's nt bad 2 b in a relationship bt with some activities like "sex" involved,it's really bad.Pls jst dnt giv in ok,coz i think u av a brighter future.Keep urself a virgin till marriage n u'll surely be blessed.Pls include it in ur prayers,that God should help u overcome such temptations.Good luck
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A
female
reader, Mayamoomin  +, writes (19 September 2009):
Its sounds like you two had a great relationship before this happened and i know what its like to not want to lose this. You clearly dont want to lose your virginity and why would you, your 13!? But you really need to have a chat with him explaining that you are not ready for this and you dont want to be pressurised to do anything. If he doesnt understand then he is not worth being around. He cannot pressure you to do what you dont want to do so be careful and do not give in because he says so. Just calmly explain to him and its really based on the answer he gives back. If hes really a good boyfriend then he will totaly understand and drop the subject but if he doesnt then he is not worth it and you should seriously consider leaving him. Good luck! and i hope this helps! xx
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A
male
reader, Red Green 0289 +, writes (19 September 2009):
Of course he wants to have sex with you... because boys at that age want that from girls with ZERO reguard for them. Once he gets what he wants he's GONE...
You can't keep this guy, and you can't afford to give him what he wants to stay... he's not capable of that...
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (18 September 2009):
 If you don't want to then you shouldn't. This is one of those things that you could regret massively when you're older. Don't have sex until you're 100% certain you want to and are ready. I think 13 is very young.
So you like this guy, but it's been three weeks and he's already brought up sex. So is he worth it? It sounds like there's a possibility he could just be after one thing.
Think about it. No matter how much you like him. It's your choice and you should feel ready and happy about it. And respected.
Good Luck. X
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female
reader, Rose_red_09 +, writes (18 September 2009):
Nothing too much to add here as others have already said it but never ever have sex whether it be for first time or not unless you are ready and it's your decision And having sex for the first time is not easy and it's something that you will carry for the rest of your life. And you have only known this guy for a short time - and if he really liked you - he would be getting to know you and wanting to do things with you that are age appropiate.....
Be strong and be true to yourself - look at the bigger picture and decide how one possible bad choice may affect you.
Take care and goodluck
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (18 September 2009):
Don't be so weak that you do something you don't want to just to keep a guy.
Do you honestly think that by having sex with him, he'll like you and stay with you?
No, he'll think you are a slut and tell everyone.
You never ever ever ever have sex with a guy to make him like you.
You need him to respect you if you want him to like you. So you say yes I want to change that, in about 5 years time.
If he threatens to dump you because you won't do things with him sexually then you know he's a complete jerk and you dump him first.
You need to learn to be strong minded if you are going to start having boyfriends, and tell your friends too. Be strong and remember that THEY are the ones who want to go out with you. YOU never have to do something to keep them. If they do something like that then you tell the girls to spread the word and make sure they never get a girlfriend again till they learn some respect.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (18 September 2009):
Firstly, you should be proud of yourself for looking for advice. I think you should stay true to yourself. You do not wish to have sex (good for you!) so don't.
You've only dated this boy for 3 weeks and frankly, if he's the type of boy who would break up with you for not having sex, then he's the type of boy who will dump you even if you DO have sex with him. Sex won't keep him.
When you are ready to be sexually active, sex will be an extension of the emotional intimacy you've already established with the lucky man. You will be confident in your relationship and know that you are safe with him.
Sex, for the first time, is not a pleasant experience for a girl. You would do yourself a great disservice if you allow yourself to be pressured too soon and by someone who doesn't really care as much about you as he should.
I think this boy must like you. But I presume he is young himself.
Would he stay with you if you got pregnant? How much do you know about STDs and birth control?
Protect your virginity and be good to yourself.
Good luck.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2009): if ur not ready to have sex then dont do it. if he stops talking to you because of it then u know hes only after you for sex. its worth the risk to tell him no to sex as it will help u learn whether he likes you for u or is just looking to get laid
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