A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating this guy for 9 months now, our sex life we perfect (well at least to me) until Feb 29th he told me he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore and that he was more into girls when at the beginning he said he was into guys so right now I don't know what to believe it's been driving me off the wall I really need advice on whether do you think he is hiding something from me. I love this guy with all my heart and I just couldn't stand to lose him to anybody else. plz email this to [email blocked] mostly appreciated.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2008): Maybe he confused, bisexual or not wanting to be gay. From what you've said it sounds like he might be bisexual. In an understanding way talk to him and find out exactly how he's feeling, and if he is bisexual and wants to be with women then there isn't much you can do about it. It might be a lesson for the future - date gay men not bisexual men.
A
female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (3 March 2008):
He is basically saying he is bisexual which is perfectly alright provided you are also of this choice. It can be really hard just being anything other than hetero and unhealthy relationships exsist in gay, straight and bi situations. I sense you feel used and probably feel as though in some way you are inadequate because he has chosen to be with a member of the opposite sex. I suppose you feel shattered because you can't really fix that problem because you can't change your gender. It happens. Where you go from here is your choice mate but you need to tell yourself that it was not meant to be and that you are a worthwhile man worthy of love and respect and that you will find happiness. Take time to heal as trust issues will be a factor in your next relationship so give yourself time out to recover from the hurt and love yourself. Don't blame yourself as you are only responsible for your actions and not his. Find love and peace within yourself and you will heal. Hope this helped you.
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A
female
reader, prettyebonyx1 +, writes (3 March 2008):
I know it's going to hurt and that's really messed up, what he's doing for you. But the bad news is that you can't change how a person feels. Sometimes, it's really nothing you can do to change that person mind. I've been there before. I loved him so much but he left me for someone else. It's going to hurt but please let it go because the longer you wait the more depressed you will be. I'm telling you from experience to let it go now. He sounds confused. If he decides that he wants you again a few weeks from now or a few months, just don't do it because he may do that to you again. It's sad to say but you have to let it go. Yes you will be hurt, depressed, sick, can't eat or sleep, wondering what and who he's doing but you will survive. It hurts but just let him go. You have to find a way to deal with the pain, you have to get your mind right. When you start thinking about him, thinking about the bad things. THink about why you should have been left him. It's sad to say but when you think happy thoughts it only make you miss him more. So take it one day at a time. Don't think about the future with him, you have to think about it without him. If he can tell you something like that then if it's not that it's something. Dang, I hate when this happens because i know exactly how you feel. You're not going to want to do anything. But push yourself. Keep pushing and don't let him see you down. He may not want to see you sad but it's not going to change his mind about how he's feeling about you. I am so sorry to say that it's really nothing you can do to change his mind. No matter what you say or how you express yourself. I am really sorry because I've been there but you will get over it. It will take a lot of time, a lot of pain but please don't give up. I really thought i would never get over the pain, It hurted bad. I prayed so much for the pain to go away and it fianlly did. But do whatever is best for you. Remeber, if you found one you can find another. Leave it alone and if he wants to come back, he will but if not, just stay in touch and be friends. Don't show him that he can get the best of you. It doesn't matter if he's hididng something of if he's telling the truth. Whatever it is, he's hurting you and you can not deal with someone playing with you or your life like that now or ever!
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A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (3 March 2008):
 That's a pretty bold statement for any man to make. Did you both speak at length about it? If not, you should. He either IS into guys or he's telling you in a nice way he doesn't want to be with you any more. Until he gets his head straight I would definitely give him some space. After a couple of weeks get back to him and see what he's decided. Give him the chance to miss you.
If he still feels the same after a fortnight then it might be best breaking things off and remaining friends.
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, iAintYourAunt +, writes (3 March 2008):
 You are young, I have no idea how old your lover is. But, if his age is anything like yours, he's most likely telling the truth. It's very possible he is unsure about his sexuality at this point. There is the possibilty he was using you for sex but that is not what's more likely.
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