A
female
age
36-40,
*iss Janine
writes:Hi, im 19 been with this guy since i was 17 and he is my 1st love, my heart is breaking at the moment as he has decided randomly that we fight too much and he is better off without me.He just wants to be the happy care free person he was before he met me, when we split we were getting on fine and there was no need for him to switch. he wont text, call I've lost all my friends because they are dating his friends and dont have time to see me, i cant go down my local anymore, my bus route goes past my local and his house so i still see him out all the time having fun whilst i am on my way home, alone. I did everything I could to get him back and he just lapped it all up and left me, I dont understand what I did or how to move on, its been 2 weeks now. Please help me as I have sunk so low and made myself sick, even felt like ending my life, for some reason I feel like I am inadiquate with out him and am constantly hoping he will change his mind and come back to me but he is not.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2008): I think what u really need to do is stop texting him & looking for him out the bus window...& go out have fun & enjoy life as u as a single woman.
Thats oboiosly what he is doing.
A
female
reader, les  +, writes (8 May 2008):
Hey,
I know what you're going through. I've just kind of been in a recent situation myself, and I know its tough when you really care about someone and they just lose interest all of a sudden.
When you are with someone that you really care about, its easy to stop hanging out with friends, doing hobbies, going out and having fun. At least when my bf and I were together (long distance), I would stay home on Friday nights instead of going out to talk to him on the phone. I honestly thought that he would never leave me and that it was okay that I was sacrifing my life for him.
Turns out I was very mistaken, b/c while I was doing everything for him, he was making plans without me. I know this is going to be hard to hear, but let yourself grieve over him, get pissed off at him, and then go on. If he's having fun, find new friends and things to do to have fun. Then he'll see your doing fine without him, and maybe'll want to come. Or not. But its a better shot than trying to convince him. But honestly, once you go out and start having the fun and meeting new guys, you might not want him back anyway.
Hope this helps.
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A
male
reader, texpsych +, writes (8 May 2008):
This sounds really cliche', but you're 19. Your whole life is ahead of you to make out of it what you will. But, through trial and error, mostly error, I've found this truth to be applicable in all areas of life: People want what they can't have. If you act as if he can't have you, he'll wonder why you're not calling and texting and he'll come back around. And by that time, you may have very well moved on.You've only been in this situation for two weeks. It's very very very natural for you to feel the way you do. Don't judge yourself too harshly. You're doing well. The fact that you've come here to vent a bit shows you're already getting better. I know it's hard for you to tell, but you are. Your friends that can't see you are a-holes. They're not true friends if they won't try to support you. So, screw em. And screw him too. You're going to rise above this and he'll just be another bump in the road. For now, go to a different local. I guess that means "bar". You might meet someone to hang out with that isn't connected to him in any way. Can you take a different bus route? Do whatever you have to in order to limit contact with him.You're going to be fine. You haven't done ANYTHING wrong. Just delete his number from your phone, do not, under ANY circumstances call or text him. It just feeds his ego and makes you miserable. People can only have as much power over you emotionally as you allow them to have.
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