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female
,
anonymous
writes: Please help, my boyfriend and I have been planning to go to University together for over a year, we're now accepted to the same university and looking for houses, and yesterday he told me he's not going and wants me to stay with him, I know I will because i love him, but I am clever i have been accepted into medical school!! So what should I do? I dont want my life to be a waste, help please i beg you
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female
reader, chikpea62 +, writes (14 January 2006):
you must take full advantage of this opportunity. him not wanting you to go without him anywhere is extremely selfish. chances are, you will not get another golden opportunity like this one that you have now. you are number one in your life, not him, not anyone else. you should not give up your future for his. as one of the other readers already wrote:
Why can he not still move but find work in the area?
this is a very good question. if he supports your ideas with everything else he will be able to respect and understand that this is very important to you and it should be just as important to him as well.
good luck with your future and EDUCATION in MEDICAL SCHOOL
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (13 January 2006):
 The consensus here is that you should go. I agree. Why can he not still move but find work in the area? As you were planning to move together anyway this plan does not change an awful lot and go's allot of the way to addressing the problems of his insecurities and the natural problems posed by a distance relationship.
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (13 January 2006):
 I beg you . . . GO TO UNI!!! Although it seems like this relationship is forever, men will come and go but you can't ruin your life over any of them. He obviously doesn't care about your success that much, as he's encouraging you not to go just because he hasn't got what it takes to do something so amazing as go to uni.
Anyone who truly loves you will want the best for you and support you in everything you do. There's no reason you can't stay a couple and you go to uni alone, although it will be hard. Life is too short to miss out on opportunities like this so go for it, girl. If you don't, I give you 1 month before you start regretting letting your true chance of success go.
As you can see from all the replies to this, people feel so strongly that you go and they're right. Please don't let anyone hold you back, it's so important to make the best of your life. Good luck
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A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Love is a very enchanting thing, no doubt and you know you will do anything to make it work with this guy of yours, which is a good thing. BUT, when it comes to sacrficing your future or something you know deep down is best for you, it really is not the right thing to do. Also, noone should ever have the right to restrict you from progressing further in life. If anything, he, as your boyfriend (who you claim to love you as much as you love him) should be supportive of your decision and not try to hold you down and keep you in place just because he does not want to accept the offer for whatever reasons of his. Just think about this, as harsh as it may sound, youve got to be idealistic here. What are the chances of you lasting forever with this guy...but as for your education, it sticks with you forever!! Think about it.
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A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Let me make this perfectly clear to you in bold letters. EDUCATION: NO ONE WILL EVER BE ABLE TO TAKE AWAY FROM YOU! A MAN (and WOMAN) CAN BE TAKEN AWAY (unfortunately). There are many reasons a relationship can end but it will end. Maybe 80 years from now, but it will end. Unless your severly hurt (about your head) Education WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU. Although I sometimes wonder where mine went?
Have a great day and get your degree.
Sincerely
Ed
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006): Hello,If this man loves you he will want what is best for you. His reasons for asking you to stay with him are totally selfish and part of his own insecurities. Go and continue your education and if he is the one for you he will wait, support you and be joyful about your success. If you decide to take my advice and he seems angry or upset ask him if he has your best interests at heart, if he does not he is not worth ruining your future for.
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