A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello fellow aunts and uncles. I've been with my wonderful boyfriend for 6 months and everything is wonderful, all though we've had some issues regarding friends and "us" time. He likes to see his college friends on Saturdays and Thursdays which I've finally gotten my head around.To begin with I found it hard to deal with because I felt second best, but I've realised that was very selfish of me and I should totally just get over it! However he's mentioned since more or less the start that he wants me to meet his friends so i'll understand how close they are as a group etc, I've just shaken it off in the past but he's asked me this evening again and put it in a very formal way. He said that he's so proud of me and I'm his woman and because its been 6 months he'd really like me to bond with his mates and get to know them.He's also said that they want to meet me to, and I would like to meet them! BUT, the way he speaks about his friends I gather their very outspoken guys and one is more outspoken than the rest, this bothers me as I have low self esteem (all though I mask it very well) and I wouldn't want his mates to think I'm moody or boring if I take offence.I've spoken to my boyfriend and he says they won't be that bad with me but I'm soooo nervous! I know it means a lot that we meet and most importantly get on.. I just need some reassurance that ill be ok, and maybe ways of dealing with banter? Or any other suggestions you guys have regarding my situation, much appreciated!! Xxxxxx
View related questions:
self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Ehh you'll be fine. Think of it this way.. You're his girl cuz you have at least something in common with him. They're his friends because he most likely has something in common with them. There's a good chance you have atleast something in common with them.
In my experience (with my friends and my/their girlfriend(s)) the only the very outspoken guys (me being one of them) will start to pick at you, and thats only if you start to lay into them and they see that you can dish it so they figure you can take it too.
The only other reason people should pick at you is if you guys kick his roommate out of the room for a few hours. People's mind start to go to sex very quickly ;P Then people will start to talk, and any and all of his friends will call him out on it. But that should still leave you mostly safe :P And if you were getting some, then you shouldn't care too much.
So if you're afraid of the banter, don't lay into them. And if they don't pay *too* much attention to you, don't take it personally either. If you sit there and be quiet, they'll either figure you're shy or feel uncomfortable around them, and most will respect that.
I'm sure everything will be okay ;)
Nick
A
male
reader, landomando +, writes (6 March 2012):
I know how guys can be with there friends. There really comfortable around each other and yes they can be very outspoken at times. My advice is to not take offence to any jokes or stuff you talk about. Smile at stupid stuff they may say or talk about to you, even if you may not think its funny or whatever maybe try. Guys and everyone in general, do seem to take first impressions on first appearance. Not doing stuff like that does give the impression you are moody and have a bad personality.. This is just what I have noticed when hanging around girls/ and my friends with girlfriends. The ones that tend to smile and laugh (even at stupid stuff and are engaged in the conversation, even if they dont agree with it but are in it) seem to be the ones that behind closed curtains the guys will say shes really awesome! and cool, and fun to be around!lol. Kinda simple obvious stuff but you would be surprised how many girls dont do simple things like that. Then wonder why we dont care for them...It seems like your BF has some really close friends that want to meet you and get to know you! That already sounds great!This might be really confusing but I herd it from my friend and it did make sense but its easier to say and explain aloud then type lol But here it goesYour boyfriend likes you for curtain traits and likes his friends for curtain traits too(like personality, fun to be around, being nice..stuff like that). His friends like your BF for his traits, and like your BF liking you for your traits, his friends notice them in you. Because usually close friends tend to like the same stuff.. Idk if that makes sense or not or you disagree or agree lol, but idk that made sense to me and helped me meet my exs friends.Just that reasuranc made it easier.. i think you will hit it off with them so I would try not to worry!!! Good luck hope it goes well
...............................
A
female
reader, Deagan +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Just laugh and smile a lot. Your boyfriend probably chatted with his boys already to remind them that there will be a lady present (so they should not be as rowdy as usual).
Also, if they banter and tease you, it's a compliment. For whatever the reason, when a guy likes a girl, they tease.
...............................
|
