A
female
age
30-35,
*ate-Marie
writes:I might be diagnosed with Bipolar, and i feel like my relationship with my fiance is at risk! Obviously i get in low and high moods and for the last few months i haven't been my self! My fiance is being wonderful but recently all he's done is stress me out.Now i don't know if this is him getting fed up with me or if its just me getting worse with the condition... My counselling doesnt start untill the end of the month so i've had no help yet... i dont hardly see my friends anymore either.. He even feels that he's dragging me down with my college course! but he's not. It's my choice not to go in, because last time i did i felt extremely not well.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (6 March 2012):
 Hi
Your fiancee, who no doubt you love very much, may be prepared to discover as much as he can about the illness. Or he may choose not to. It does take a lot of love and determination to protect the ones we love. But millions of people all oover the world do have bi-polar or variations of same. And their families do give them amazing good support.
Some people are freaked out and others actively be as supportive as much as possible. It is not hard to support the ones we love.
If he wants any advice or support then I would suggest that he access. Knowledge is power. The more your fiancee knows about the condition then the easier he should find it to give you the support you need.
Ask your Doctor to recommend a good book for a non-medical person about the condition and HOW he can best support you.
Otherwise he will be floundering in the breeze wondering if he is doing the right thing or not. here are some tips for him:
1. Be non-judgemenal
2. Have compassion
3. Develop Empathy
4. Be kind
5. Get informed about the condition - it helps to demolish all the myths and half truths.
Fingers cross he loves you enough to step up to the challenge.
You are still the girl he fell in love with. And with good medical support you will grow to understand your condition and even learn to anticipate where it is going and what support you need.
Do NOT self medicate please - it is a recipe for disaster.
And if you have any idiots who refuse to understand the condition then divest yourself of such losers - they are not worthy of you.
On the way you will make new friends.
Do ALWAYS listen to your doctor on what is best.
NEVER listen to quackery merchants who are trying to sell you 'snake oil' bogus cures - they are NOT your friends.
And over time you will learn to cope better.
Start a daily journal - it will help you track your moods and what works well and what does not.
Get out in the sunshine (when there is sunshine) when ever you can = it is good for depression.
Similarly join a Zumba class or a walking group or anything that gets you exercising = it is good for depression.
Please eat very healthy - plenty of fruit, vegetables..
Express yourself = doing so through Art is a great way to deal with how you are feeling. - Water Color painting is cheap.
Good luck. I am not saying it is easy. But millions of people all over the world do survive it and cope with it and get on with their lives with good support.
Regards
Abella
A
female
reader, Kate-Marie +, writes (6 March 2012):
Kate-Marie is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank-You... thats helped abit! but what do i do about my fiance ? :(
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 March 2012):
The best thing for your fiancee is to discover everything possible about the condition. Advance knowledge of how the illness may manifest can allow other family member to give the best support, or to find the best support for you.
This article gives a really big over-view of the illness. No one person will have every single symptom. And some may have less than others.
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfo/problems/bipolardisorder/bipolardisorder.aspx
And at the end of this article above are some more good links to assist you.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (6 March 2012):
At least you have your counselling scheduled. Please also visit your Citizen's Advice Bureau in your area to see what other support is available out there for you.
You should also get a family support person to help pressure the NHS to allow you to be regularly reviewed by a psychiatrist.
BiPolar is tough and your fiancee may be grappling with many issues right now. The first year of treatment is very important and that is the reason I hope that you can develop a good professional relationship with a qualified psychiatrist. I gather the NHS may not agree with me, but such caring professional support as a qualified psychiatrist on a regular basis really helps in the first year.
Be very very kind to you. This illness is not your fault.
The other reason a good Doctor in the background is important is the other illness that you may suffer while suffering Bi-polar, and this Depression. And if you start to feel depressed do not sit home suffering (waiting for it to get better before you visit the Doctor) - instead get thee to the doctor for proper treatment as soon as possible. Because depression is really too big a burden to endure alone.
www.befrienders.org/index.asp
http://helpguide.org/topics/depression.htm
Never be afraid to seek good professional support wherever it is offered. If you do not like a particular counsellor or therapist then please tactfully ask for the person to be replaced.
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