A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My partner is 10 years older than me (I am still a college student). I have been with him for 5 months and we are really happy together. However, when it comes to the bedroom, he really wants me to dress up in sexy underwear and stuff for him, but I really don't feel comfortable doing stuff like that because of stuff that has happened in my past. I have talked to him about it, and he says that he wouldn't ever pressure me into anything and he understand why I don't feel comfortable doing it, and said he won't mention it again until I'm ready. However, some of my mates (I only hang around with blokes so it's all from a bloke's point of view) say that he will eventually get bored because I won't do anything adventurous like that in the bedroom because of my level of self esteem and confidence. I don't know whether to do it anyway even though I un-will feel extremely self conscious, anxious and will not enjoy it one bit, or just not mention it.Any suggestions?Thanks.
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confidence, self esteem, underwear Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Djmclucas113  +, writes (2 March 2009):
 Well I think it's always fun to try new things so by doing it u may gain some confidence in urself but do not do anything u do not want to do cuz u should not be pressured into doing anything and ur bf should understand that or else that guy is not the right one for u
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): I understand you your problem I feel that if he understand you situation he should respect that and there are alot of other way you can enjoy while being in the bedroom it would be good if you guys discuss other way that is more comfortable you and for him God Bless
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): Dressing up is not the only way of being adventurous in the bedroom. Think of some unusual things you'd like to do to spice things up and suggest them to him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): Take a look at this little lot:
http://www.matalan.co.uk/pages/products/002/017
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): I suppose it depends on his definition of sexy underwear.
Most women (the ones I've known anyway) prefer to wear sexy underwear as everyday items as a matter of course, not just for 'special' occasions, rather than those frumpy hand-trappers that granny used to wear which could be given a new lease of life as floor cloths when they'd exceeded their useful life on her backside.
I think if you dress sexily, you'll feel confident and sexy, and if he's asking that you wear something a little more titillating than at present, get him to buy you some. Christmas is coming - ideal opportunity. Ann Summers sells totally non-practical stuff for the most part, but Matalan have some really good quality stuff on their shelves at about half the price of M&S, and I shop there every Christmas for exactly this purpose.
Make sure you write your sizes down on a piece of paper - plus any other special Christmas requests - and hand it to him. You might be pleasantly surprised at the effect it will have on him.
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