A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i am 13 and i have a boy friend who is 13 to. i dont no wat to do we have been going out sence we were ten and havent broke up once our relation ship has been the best thing that has ever happend to me in the world. well my boyfriend asked me one night when we were in his room if we could have sex he told me that we dont have to that he is not going to presser me into anything. well i said im not ready and ever sence i told him no he stops kissing me and we keep fighting about th stuped stuff. after like two months and i desided i want to have sex with him but i dont no how to ask him if he wantz to anymore and i dont no if i realy want to wat if i am just saying want to cause i dont want us to brake up. i dont no if im ready and i dont no y he is acting like his i need help to save my relationship with my perfict guy.
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broke up, kissing, ready for sex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): If he was so perfect for you why don't you think he understand I not going to say that yall are too young because you know that and if you really think that you are ready to give it up and you love and trust that after you do it he want leave you or hurt you but i feel that you should try to talk it out again before it too later God Bless
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): I think you shouldnt do it with him any ways youre to young And I think youre just wanting to have sex to make youre boy friend happy
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Geez you guys dont have to tell her she cant spell it could have been a typing error or maybe she dont know how to spell it oooo well i cant spell prounciation
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): u have 2 dilemma's 1 how do u know u r ready to do something u've never done before & 2 how do u keep your (perfect) BF without having sex. firstly u never KNOW when u r ready for something, u can only SAY i'm doing this for the following reasons. your reason is to keep your BF (which everyone here will tell u is a pretty bad reason). the answer to the 2nd q is he resents u rejecting his sexual advances & u have 2 convince him to wait (ie that u love him & u don't want to fight & u want to work this out, BUT if he loved u he would RESPECT ur feelings & emotions - if he doesn't then he's sooooo not perfect).
GOOD LUCK! also - everyone - please do not harrass this girl. u don't have to take a spelling test 2 have sex.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2008): Your 13... For some that would be enough said but I get the feeling you like many, many other teenage girls are a tad bit foolish. And like I just stated... YOUR 13! I'm 14 about to be 15 in a week and I can happily say I was spared from making such a LARGE MISTAKE. Your 13, and you think "Oh, I'll have sex!" YOU SPELLED DECIDED WRONG, THERE IS NOOOOO S IN DECIDED. Honey, you are 13, would you even be able to fill out the paperwork if you (God forbid) had to put this boy under child support? Your a freaking kid, trying to take part in activities that MAKE KIDS!!! SAVE YOURSELF from HIV, AIDS, emotional trauma, spiritual attachments to a boy who may just a week later decide to go screw around with Becky from down the street! SAVE YOURSELF! And whoever that is that told you there's no age TOO YOUNG TO HAVE SEX, tell that to the kids who ever were sexually abused when they were 4! Don't be your boyfriends SPERM DUMP!
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (24 November 2008):
are you serious? you are both 13 and thinking about sex? my god, what is happening to kids these days!!!!
dont have sex, you are far too young for it also i think a serious relationship at your age is a little ott too. you should be having fun and not worrying about things. forget sex, do it when you are older and ready for it.
Dr.John is so right with the point about being responsible for a child, if you are not ready for children then you shouldn't have sex...as accidents do happen. so please don't do it! be a kid, thats what you are. enjoy your childhood and leave the grown up stuff till you are older.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): Honey, that is quite a long relationship! I dont suggest any age too old or too young to have sex, unless it is a ridiculous age of course. It is not about age, it is about being ready. The best way to ask somebody about this is in a text, that way you dont get shy. Text him and ask him if you are okay with eachother and if he would still want sex. You will know when you are definately ready, you just get a feeling that you really want to. Until you get that feeling, i would advise you to wait a while. Im not actually telling you what to do because this is not my choice, it is yours. But whatever you do i will give you a few tips on sex.*Use protection.*It will hurt the first time but only for a few minutes and not very bad pain, just a bit of pain.*And you might bleed a bit but this is perfectly normal.All the best chick. xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2008): ok sweetheart. well coming from someone that is older. I'm not a big annoyin adult im only 18. but when it comes to sex. 13 is not a good age. and no matter how perfect you think your relationship is, its still not right. Your very young and take it from someone whos been through it you will later on regret it. If he's changing and constantly getting mad at you then it's not meant to b. Don't force yourself to make a relationship work. There's so much out there that you have yet to seen or experience. You will never know what true love is 'til you get out therer and explore what the world has to offer you. Sex isn't the answer if it doesn't work then just let it go. Trust me it's the right thing to do. Honestly I don't believe there is just one perfect guy. Everyone has an opinion on what their perfect guy needs to be like and when you really meet that one that makes you happy. You will know just give it time.
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A
female
reader, DancingBrownEyes41695 +, writes (24 November 2008):
 ok i am 13 too and i think that having sex at this age is wrong. am i saying you should wait till ur married? no. And if you are serious about having sex make sure it is with protection.(if its possible to get pregnant) Dont make any stupid decisions about having sex. one of my dearest friends had sex with her bf cuz she thought she was in love him. it turns out it wasnt meant to be he broke up with her and told all his friends that she had sex with him not exactly what you would want everyone in school to know!!!!! that was 3months ago and they are still calling her easy, cheap, loose, you name it. It sounds to me that if he is pressuring you (which it sounds like, considering since you said no the first time and he is getting angry with you) then it isnt exactly the right time to loose ur virginity. IF you are willing to take the risk of having sex for love then make sure he is the right guy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Let me bring out my stock answer, "If you are asking this question then you most assuredly are NOT ready for sex."
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Sorry to be mean about this, but if you can't spell, you aren't ready for sex. Stick to your studies!
Take heed to Dr. John!
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A
female
reader, blackroses2989 +, writes (24 November 2008):
 okay sweetheart im sorry to tell you this, but you are both thriteen. You are very young to be having sex. If your boyfriend can't understand that you dont want to have sex then, it may be better for you to break up. Its not like you can't get back togther, but I think you both need to grow up before you can count on a serious relationship. However if you are adamnet about staying with him, then you really need ot talk to him about this, hes the only one that can truely answer your question. Communication is the best thing you can do in a relationship. It helps solve problems and prevents problems from arising. i hope that helps good luck sweetie! ( keep in mind im not judging you by your age, okay? ^_^ good luck)
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (24 November 2008):
 Before you even consider sex you need to consider the following
Are you ready to have a baby?
One little slip and you can end up pregnant before you realize what happened.
Are you ready for an adult relationship with all the problems that come with it?
Yes, there will be problems and not easy ones.
Are you ready for the regular check ups with your doctor?
Yes, the various little things like pap smears etc. that you need to be aware of when you become sexually active.
My daughter is 23 and has never been sexually active and therefore has never had a pap smear. (She is marrying in two days) She is also very proud of that fact.
If you do get pregnant how will you care for a baby and will he be there for you and the baby should you get pregnant?
Lots of things to consider in addition to giving up your childhood which you can never get back once you leave it behind. You can always look forward to sex but once your childhood is gone it is gone forever.
Now go be a kid and enjoy it. Doc
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