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He wants me to be his 1st official Gf. Should I consider it? Seeing as he's slept with 70 women in the past?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Health, Sex, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 May 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 12 May 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Advice Givers,

Im 21 years old, currently involved with a 23 year old man for around 4 months. We are completely into each other, spent alot of time and did romantic things together, all peachy till he confessed his number...the number of women he's slept with.

He's slept with around 70 women which were all one night stands or girls he considered to "be with". Basically nothing ever official.

He wants me to be his first official girlfriend, and i would like to be his girlfriend..but i am constantly wondering if his past will any effects on our relationship.

For example, from what it seems his continuous desire to sleep with multiple women..does that feeling stop?? Ahh, any advice greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

View related questions: one night stand

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (12 May 2012):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntIf you could see me as I'm typing this, you would note that I am bright, almost-neon green with envy at this guy you fancy.... Heck, here I am in my advanced years, and I don't think I've ever even TALKED to 70 women... and he (at just 23) has BEDDED them!!!!

One thing I'm sure of.... If I were that guy ("your's"), I'd be thinking ONLY of getting YOU to put out and be number 71. All those who've written before me also saw something like that in this guy. WHY risk your heart (and your self-esteem) for a guy like this? There are lots of nice, non-bragadoccio (and "non-whore") guys that you can find......

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012):

And how exactly would the rest of the world be able to distinguish you as his first official girlfriend as opposed to being the 71st girl he unoficially slept with?

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A female reader, missanxious Netherlands +, writes (12 May 2012):

missanxious agony auntHonestly accepting him as a bf is like getting a stone and hit your own head. Sleeping with 70 women is not a joke specially at his age. You'll never know you will be the 71st women.

Just forget about him and move one.

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A male reader, MikeEa1 Australia +, writes (12 May 2012):

MikeEa1 agony auntif he's slept with 70 at that age a lot of them probably were prostitutes. I would ask him to get tested first. there is also the worry about future fidelity. I guess you have to go with your gut on that one.

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A male reader, grymsoul United States +, writes (12 May 2012):

grymsoul agony auntI honestly wouldn't even consider being with a girl that has had that many partners. It could spell trouble in a variety of ways. He could have contracted some kind of disease. After all, these were one night stands. Whose to say that the women he was with were clean. One night stands aren't known for being the safest of intercourse.

Also, why so many partners? Unless he's a pornstar, there's no reasonable need to have so many.

I also think this might be a hook. He uses the line "I want you to be the first" to lure the females into the sense of feeling special. He might be throwing in that large number to see how desperate you are. It's lke a game to him. To challenge himself to see if he can still get the girl with such a handicap. After all, he has already bedded 70 women. Why would he be in a rush to settle down?

I personally would stay away. Not to mention the constant reminder that at least one of his past lovers will inevitably trump you in the sex department. It's Just too much baggae to lug around

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2012):

The past always affects the future. Your gut is giving you a warning. I say drop him.

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