A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok so im 17, ive been going out with a guy who is 20 now for bout 2 and a half months, hes not the most outgoing of people and he is a bit shy, we havent had sex yet (neither of us are virgins) but nows hes talking about he wants a settled adult relationship.what does he mean by that, my mate who is 19 said oh it means you just carry on but sex dies down.no idea what he means by it and its not easy to ask him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2009): I would be a bit wary. First of all, at 16/17 you aren't really an adult and I don't think it's wise to start talking about settled long term relationships with a guy who is only 20! Especially since you've only been with each other for 2 months! I would keep my eyes peeled with this guy...
A
male
reader, gumbbo +, writes (19 February 2009):
Has he tried to have sex, or is he sexual with you. To be honest it's strange for a 20 year old to say this, i wanted and still do want sex as much as possible, in the beginning esp, of a relationship. Not sure of his problem if you are really confortable together and you are willing. Obviously he could be shy of making the first move, but i guess you just need to get sexual kissing etc, and see what it leads to.Just say to him "what do you consider to be a settled adult relationship?" Let him explain. Seems to me that he's covering some fear.
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A
female
reader, littlemomma  +, writes (19 February 2009):
 talk to him. Maybe he's looking for that special someone to settle down with (as in get married). Or he could be talking about a full on relationship with sex and all. The only way to find out is to talk to him about it, no matter how hard it is...communication is key to most things.good luck!
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