A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hey.i met this guy in college a year back.Initially it was chattin on the phone and all..then one day we decided to meet at his place and go for a movie or somehin.I don't know who started it but we made out.I know that he is physically attracted to me and me too but when i asked him for a relationship he said he doesn't have that kind of feelings for me.I know i should leave hopes but i dun want to..because we still made out despite not wanting to hv a relationship.I jus Don't want to lose him.He still calls me up..but hangs up abruptly.He messages me but stops replying suddenly and that's what hurts me.But i still think there could be a chance.What do you think is he using me,should i let go..it is hard for me to let go cos he is the guy i first kissed i first made out with it's hard for me to get him out of my head.Also can playin herd to get help..please give some tips on that i am not really good at it please i don't want to lose him.We even have coversations of us having sex.over the phone throuh messages or on chatting windows..but still he feels no please help me tell me if he is really interested or he is just using me and please give me tips on playing hard to get Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2008): I am in the same boat. Except I have many suitors after me and I keep hearing comments from them like, "How come you won't give me the time of day?" "How come you don't like me?" or I'll hear from another, "You don't know a good man."
I don't trust men and I honestly think that being with someone that does not want a relationship keeps me from committing although I want him to commit to me. Sometimes I like him and sometimes I don't. I date other men and I know if I decide to be with one of those suitors who is really into me, it will be a permanent thing.
So I'm not sure why I continue to deal with a person who does not want to be in a relationship. He's recently divorced after 20rs of marriage.
Its just that I know when I'm through, I am through and yes like someone said earlier they always try to come back, but after trying for so long its no longer of interest to me when that time comes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2008): I wish there was an easy way to say this, but yes, he is using you. If I were you I would just drop him and move on. You're young, there will be more guys to kiss and make out with, no worries!
If you really want to play hard to get, then it's fairly simple - never contact him first again. If he calls, don't answer and call him back hours later. Don't tell him that you did "nothing" all day..in fact tell him nothing, pull away. Don't be "available" whenever he wants you to be. If he asks you to get together on Monday, tell him you're not free until Thursday. And if he can't do it that day, all well. In the end you may not actually be "playing" hard to get as much as you'll have grown some confidence and suddenly will have other guys interested in you and then you can REALLY walk away from this loser!! (sorry, I don't like guys like this - been there done that - I'm 31 and I always leave him guessing and confused...that's why they keep coming back...and why I move on cause I end up getting bored of them!)
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey this is the same girl who asked the question i just wanted to say that once he himself told me that we should stop making out as it was wrong...u still think he is using me...is there no chance that playing hard to get will get me anywhere
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): Guys are known for using women to get sex, and that's what he is doing with you.....find yourself a man that cares about you, it feels good that way. The way you have it now only makes you hurt and damages your self esteem.
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A
female
reader, Torianne  +, writes (12 July 2008):
 I'm sorry, he wants all the benefits of a relationship without having the responsibility for it.
You need to realise that although you so obviously have feelings for this man, you need to have self respect for yourself. No one deserves to be another mans plaything. You deserve someone who can give themselves to you and you alone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncan we be just friends..i mean there was this one time he himself came up to me and said look we have to stop this because it is not going anywhere..it was he himself who stopped it even now do u feel that he was using me...i really don't want to ...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioncan we be just friends..i mean there was this one time he himself came up to me and said look we have to stop this because it is not going anywhere..it was he himself who stopped it even now do u feel that he was using me...i really don't want to lose him
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (12 July 2008):
If he said he doesn't have "those kinds of feelings" for you when it comes to a relationship, then you really should let him go. Why are you afraid of losing him when you don't even have him? Girlie, you need to boost your self esteem. There are actually nice guys out there that won't use you and will want to have a relationship. From what you said, he does appear to be using you. However, you haven't had sex I'm guessing so I'm not sure what he's really using you for besides a makeout buddy? Besides that, just because you talk about having sex doesn't mean he wants a relationship with you either. And don't think that just because you have sex with him, that will make him like you. You really should go out with your girlfriends, have fun, and meet other guys. Ditch the user.
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