A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I know everyone at one point in their lives goes through the anguish of a breakup, but please could someone help me understand.I was in an intense 3 year relationship. It had it's ups and downs, but our love got us through anything. He told me everyday how much he loves me, that I am the most beautiful woman, etc. We were so close and connected. Then I went away for 2 months. For the entire time I was away, I received emails and phone calls saying how much he misses me and how something was missing in his life even though he was having fun. When I got back into the country, he said he no longer wants a relationship and that he is afraid of commitment and needs to focus on himself for a while (he is a few years younger). He said we may or may not get back together in the future, but for now he wants nothing tying him down at this point in his life. I am totally in shock. We had talked about a future together for a long time. I don't understand. When I asked him, "how can this change when you told me so many times I am the love of your life?" He said, "But you know things change." He is trying to be there for me as a friend, but I cannot get used to not holding him and kissing him. Can he really turn off his love just like that? He says because he doesn't know what he wants, it isn't fair to me. I don't understand what that means. My heart is so broken. I have barely been able to eat for a week. Our love was so real and we have been through so much together, I don't understand how it can change so fast. I love him so much. Any insight? Thank you in advance.
View related questions:
a break, get back together, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2008): I think he might have met somebody else while you were away. Either that or he's been cheating on you since you've been gone. Either way whatever happened while you were away, made him "realise" that he feels like he is better off without you...And I am certain, he had TOO much fun while you were away and there is definitely either an other womAN involved OR other womEN involved.
I am so sorry about this. And you are right, we have all been through this at some point. And it is very hard and painful. I think it would be easier if he were just really honest with you and gave you a good reason or the REAL reason. But to just say "I dont'know, things change" is so vague and makes it hard to get any closure.
Its obvious that there was a real reason (which I already told you what I suspect it is) but obviously he doesn't want to tell you about it. So all you have to go with is the fact that he says its over. But in the long run, whatever his reasons were, is not going to matter. You are not going to care. So I would just take it for what it is and not try to read more into it and just try as hard as you can to move on.
The most important things you need to do, is firstly, you can't be friends with him. I would cut him out of your life altogether. And take time to yourself to grieve and cry and heal from this loss. And tr to start your life again without him, no friendship, no contact.
|
