A
female
age
30-35,
*uteblonde124
writes:okay so thank you guys for answering my other one, and I have made up my mind about sex. I'm going to wait till I'm older!!!!The problem is he doesn't want to wait, in fact he wanted me to finger myself, and kept begging me. Is he worth my time or not? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): If you set the scene now and do something a guy begs for what does it say about you? Where in the future are you a) going to get your sense of self worth from and b) going to know where and how to draw the line. As for it being 'worth your while' - I would say its only worth his. Think about it.
A
male
reader, madflash +, writes (9 April 2008):
 The fact is that you want different things than that guy. This does not make either of you bad, just mismatched. Tell him to take a hike if he can't respect you wanting to wait for sex stuff, and move on to a nice virgin geek who will be much too nervous to ask for stuff like that. There are plenty of handsome ones with all the things girls your age want... except maybe for this kind of drama.
Eventually, however, you will find out that ALL men are sexual beasts. Some merely contain it better, and some, due to their looks or whatever 'magic' they have, don't seem to ever need to contain it at all.
For example: I'm pretty certain if the guy you're talking about was hot enough, nice enough, smooth enough and right enough for you, he wouldn't have to cojole, ask or beg you for anything. And you wouldn't have to ask us what you should do, except maybe what the best forms of birth control are or how you should break the news of your teen pregnancy to your folks.
Good luck... you need it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2008): Listen to all the good advice given you. I have just a few comments to add and I want to begin by asking you...have you told him flat out NO and if not...why don't you want to tell him no, hun? You have the right to say 'no' to anything and anyone that asks you to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. When a guy begs, he's only looking for one thing. Take note of his behaviors. Any young guy who talks to you in this way to, is not respecting you. You have got to see that, don't you? Now ask yourself, does this guy make it clear in all his actions and words, every day...that you are special to him and he is thinking only about your happiness because from what you said in the your posting...I get a feeling, your answer will be "No" and this is so sad..because you are are settling for nothing. Why don't you do the smart thing and put this fellow into the dumpster. He's not thinking of you...he's only thinking of what he wants.
Now having said all that and if you are still considering giving him what he wants, then I have to tell you something very, very important. Adolescent girls who have a very strong self-esteem, would give a guy like this, his walking papers. Girls with a lot of pride and self-love would not engage in these behaviours just to 'keep and retain' a boyfriend'. Valuing yourself and having high self-esteem is something one needs to use full force when they come up against challenges like this, in their life.
I suggest, before you make any decisions in regards to this guy..you need to find someone to talk to. Like an Aunt, your Mom, an older sister, a female teacher, a school counselor...anyone that you can trust fully and you know can advise you wisely and encourage you in the right direction. Know that it’s OK to share your feelings, concerns or fears. Talking about things is one of the best ways to explore your own feelings. Next, think about doing other things you love to do and distract yourself from boys like the guy you have described in this posting. He's a no gooder. I think you know that. Participate in sports. Volunteer your time for organizations you feel strongly about: eg:, a local hospital, a local animal shelter, youth groups, charitable causes, etc. You need to try your best to be the best. And I know you can do it. Try your best to succeed, but don’t get down if you meet challenges along the way. It really is true that we learn more from our failures than our successes, so try to look at everything as a learning opportunity.
Now, do the right thing and tell him No, and walk away. And if you find a decent guy to date...make absolutely sure he respects you for who you are...not what you can do for him. The only way to doing this, no sex! Judging by your age..dating should be fun and lighthearted, making new and wonderful friends...sex shouldn't even be in the picture. Save all that until you are mature enough and old enough to handle the consequences of such an act. One last word....Don't ever, ever allow any guy to treat you this way again. Love yourself and remember how great you are.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Drop him. Oh, and if you don't want guys pestering you for sex, perhaps you should avoid using sexually provacative handles like "cuteblonde." Just a thought.
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A
female
reader, xxbaybeegal  +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Definately not
If you dont want to do something that you dont want to then he is a waste of your time
If hes begging you that means you obviously dont want to do it
dont make him force you to things that you dont want to do
gd luck
x
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (8 April 2008):
 He's pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do. Not worth your time. Drop him.
Wishing you the best.
xxx
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A
male
reader, Jamer70 +, writes (8 April 2008):
 Youve said no to sex so now he just wants some form of sex from you.
So no he isnt really worth your time
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 April 2008): Most definitely NOT worth it! This immature guy is just after cheap sexual gratification. There is obviously no respect here and my strong advice - drop him like a hot brick! (this from a guy!)
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