A
female
age
41-50,
*utterflygale
writes:Dear all, he wants to have sex with me but he does not want to kiss me! I fell ?in love with a guy I met for a month in a hall i was staying for a short visit. He is 29 and I am 30 years old. He initiated the friendship; he used to come and watch TV with me in the TV room and we shared alot especially about our careers.The hall had few residents so we commonly met and chatted. My gut feeling when we met was that he just wanted sex but I thought later that he was just a friendly person. He has a funny personality and is quite handsome. I enjoy his company because I like the way he looks at me when we would chat. We never talked abt ourselves..it was always work. But I started noticing that he stared at me a lot when I was passing, but also ignored me around his friends. I decided to pay attention to my work and not even ask him. If I avoided him, he would look for me..come back to the TV room, or makes sure he comes to the kitchen because I used to cook. So he created a pattern that made me feel he liked me a lot but something was stopping him from telling me.I decided that if he likes me, he would tell me. Time went by and I told him I was leaving the hall in a few days. That very night, he came to my room(he had ever) but I noticed he was acting different,. He was just in a vest and we joked about his tattoos. I touched his tattoos as I normally did. Then suddenly he said he thought about something bad..sex. He asked me if I have ever had sex and I said no. He said he liked me a lot and he thought it was obvious to me all this time. I told him it was not worth pursuing since we are separating in a few days. But along the discussion we got close and he basically wanted sex and from the rear but said he could not kiss me. I was shocked so I told him if he had emotional attachment elsewhere..he should just follow it and not use me. He had told me he had married a 27year old female when he was 20 but they divorced after 4 years because she cheated on him. Currently, he says he is single. He was not forceful but it was not easy as well for me to finally let him out of my room. I had deeply fallen in love with this guy so much that I was willing to be quiet about it till i go just incase he did not feel the same way. The new twist of our friendship has disappointed so much. So, would he not kiss me, was it all a lie?
View related questions:
divorce, tattoo Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Butterflygale +, writes (31 July 2011):
Butterflygale is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey! thanks. I dropped him without submitting to his sexual needs. Bernard, you are right, now that I can think sober, when he was leaving my room he actually said "right now all I want to do is hit it!" demonstrating with his finger. Quite gross, but I don't know how i got myself into the mess. And yes, Red Anthena, he said later that we just could not have a relationship coz we live far from each other but at least we could do somthing we could both remember. Generally, everything you guys said came to pass. Even after the so-called confesssion of his love for me..I hadly saw him. He infact left without saying bye to me. I would have been emotionally drained if I didn't seek advice first. Great work guys!thanks a bunch!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): Hi. He sounds weird to me. He didn't tell you a lot about himself. Ignored you when he was around his friends. Both bad signs because there will be a very good reason he didn't want you to know too much about him. And a very good reason he didn't want his friends to know he had an 'interest' in you. Whatever that interest is, it ain't dating!
He went to your room in a vest, probably so you could touch his tattoos as you 'normally' do. He then used that touching to instigate meaningless sex with you, without any intimacy on his part. No kissing or even facing you just sex at its most basic level. Which left you disappointed, so i take it he didn't bother himself with satisfying you at all. You were just used. And it sounds as if you had some difficulty making him leave afterwards! Sorry but i fail to see how you could fall in love with someone who treated you with no respect. I'd give him a wide berth if i were you. Hes not right. And if you didn't use any protection, do get yourself checked just to best safe.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2011): To put it bluntly. He just wanted an orgasm. He didn't want to make love he wanted to f**k.
...............................
A
male
reader, Tom Obler  +, writes (24 July 2011):
 I think he is very cautious because of his failed marriage. He is looking for just sex here with no emotional ties. So he can just get relief and doesn't have to form a bond.
...............................
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 July 2011):
 I think he was telling you the truth. He is ok with using your body, but not having any kind of real emotional connection with you.
You did the right thing by telling him no.
I actually told a man years ago, "Thank you for your offer of using me as your seminal recepticle, but I think I will pass".
He thought Id be flattered that he wanted to have sex with me and then told me he could have "anyone he wanted".
I responded, "Wow, I must be a fool to pass up this opportunity of a lifetime, I do not know how I will manage to live with myself, but Im sure with a lot of therapy and some binge drinking, I will learn to live with my regret."
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2011): I must agree with " Very Confused"
Any boy who says anything to those terms only wants what's between your legs. It is insulting to sit there and agree to this. Human beings are the only species to have intercourse facing each other. There is a reason to that. You should think clearly.
What I have to say is just this.
"Drop that POS. Find a man who will make love with you. Not just to you."
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 July 2011):
 Personally the only men that want to have sex with me but don't kiss me are men that don't love me...
kissing is the most intimate thing you can do...
...............................
|
