A
female
age
36-40,
*otpinkfloyd
writes:What does it mean when after a year+ relationship that your boyfriend wants to spend more time with his friends? He never does anything with me anymore other than chores and wants to go out with his friends to do fun things and go drinking and play sports, and go to the park, and I have not seen him all weekend. He has not texted me once asking me what am I doing, how I am. I text him to say what's up and he replies. I feel like he does not want to have fun with me, or be with me. If we do anything like go out to eat it's with his friends 99% of the time, never alone. I guess my company is not good enough. But he goes out with his friends alone to have fun, and with me I am only around for the chores or to lounge around his apartment with him. (Oh, I live in Paris, France, and he is French).What does this mean?
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female
reader, Hotpinkfloyd +, writes (1 June 2009):
Hotpinkfloyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOh, No, lol we are usually together wed, friday night sometimes, sat, and sunday. It just confusing to me because I went to spend christmas with his family went to his cousins wedding, but yet sometimes he acts like this.
A
female
reader, Hotpinkfloyd +, writes (31 May 2009):
Hotpinkfloyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm an art student, I paint, and draw, I am a frequent louvre visiter, But I don't know what am I to him, its not like its for sex because during the weekdays he never wants it. P.S. I'm only at his apartment on wed. during the weekdays. I feel lost, in what are we, what am I to him, What the F*** does he want, What does he think a relationship is (spend most of your time with your friends and on day out of the week with you) kind of thing. We have been together for fucking a year and 5 months. I think its odd that thats what someone would think a relationship is. To never talk to the person you have not seen all week & weekend, and not ask them what they are doing or anything. I went out to a coffee with one friend, sat in the park relaxing reading a mag. went to a bar one night with friends ... I was not sitting around. So WTF?
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A
female
reader, Hotpinkfloyd +, writes (31 May 2009):
Hotpinkfloyd is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI go out and drink with friends and go to parties and I work, I go to school, I live when he's not with me. I don't wait around for him. but when I'm with him, he never wants to do anything fun, I always suggest things and he never answers or the answer is no.
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A
male
reader, koenig  +, writes (31 May 2009):
This is blunt and I feel bad for saying it, but I think that you should cut your losses and break up with him. Him being this uninterested at this stage in your relationship is a warning sign - it's something that's not likely to improve. If anything, things like this should be less of an issue at the beginning of the relationship (first few years) compared to later on, so the only way seems to be down.
Do you really want to invest any more effort into this relationship when you're getting little in return? Maybe if you'd been in a relationship for a relatively long amount of time and his interested just started to wane, then it would be something you could work on, but since it doesn't seem to have ever really been there, I think it's a lost cause. You're going to get fed up with carrying this relationship.
Please don't feel that this means that you're not fun or not interesting. He's obviously not ready for a serious relationship and thinks that he's still a bachelor who can just have fun with the guys whenever and get away with the perks of a relationship without having to contribute to it and build on it. As horrible as it is, some people are just like that and you could do better. Some might say that's they're juvenile or selfish, that's a matter of opinion though.
I know it's hard. But you should move on and find someone as good as you deserve. I'm sorry.
OR...
If it's a very recent thing, if you communicate how you feel to him, you may be able to make things better. Just don't delude yourself into staying him for much longer if he doesn't change quickly.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009): I dont really understand this side of men. Maybe hes bored of you? Or maybe he's using you? I dont know. Has he always been this way or is it a recent thing?
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