A
female
age
30-35,
*saap
writes:Ok, so this will be a bit long. I am 15 years old and have been through a lot, I think.. Alcohol use and drug use. My mom drinks a lot and my dad isn't in the same country, he also drinks a lot. They both smoke. I'm saying this because I find it important. Okay, so like almost a year ago I had this group of friends and we did drugs together and drank a lot. And in that group, there was this one guy who also did those things but not a lot, just sometimes. After being with his two best friends, not seriously, just fooling around, he asked me to be his girlfriend and we're still together.. after 10 months. He used to be wonderful, treated me really nice and he'd always let me know how special I was to him and I was very happy. Although, we used drugs in that time, not a lot but we did, but then we decided that we were going to try to leave that life for the better. We broke up several times and after we stopped using drugs, he was really agressive and mean. He treated me really bad and he still does. However, we used drugs a couple more times and when we are drugged, we totally get along and he totally understands me. But, when he is sober he doesn't change. He doesn't trust me, he has conversations with other girls, he hits me, not hard, but he does, he says I'm a piece of shit, an idiot, a stupidass, a whore, a slut.. Even though I don't do anything, I am only for him, I mean i dedicate all my time to him. And i try to tell him to stop, that it hurts me and he gets mad and leaves, then he comes and asks me to forgive him and i forgive him, but he keeps doing it. He keeps treating me very bad and I just can't seem to leave him, I can't as much as I want to. I want him to change, to be like it used to be.. I don't know what to do. And I'm only 15, hes 22.. I guess the worst thing was to be with him. What do I do?
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female
reader, isaap +, writes (3 March 2010):
isaap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm still trying with him, see if things change.. but they only got worse.. so far. he now texts with this other girl.. i think he likes her because.. well i know he does. recently we got in a fight because he got mad at me for going with my aunt to her bfs house without telling him, but he ignored me the whole day and i just didnt seem to care anymore if he knew where i was or what i did.. i kinda got tired waiting for him. he says hes doing all this.. i mean like texting wit da girl bc he wants to make me pay for going out without him.. he said to me he was going to go to her house but never did because he spent the whole afternoon with me dat day and tho were actually getting along pretty well, i feel really hurt because anything can happen.. i know dey are not texting anymore. but im still hurt.. it hurts to know dat in any second he can leave me. i dont know. i wish i didnt care about him. but he hasnt been treating me as bad as he used to. atleast dat.. i love him very much.
A
female
reader, isaap +, writes (3 March 2010):
isaap is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIm still trying with him, see if things change.. but they only got worse.. so far. he now texts with this other girl.. i think he likes her because.. well i know he does. recently we got in a fight because he got mad at me for going with my aunt to her bfs house without telling him, but he ignored me the whole day and i just didnt seem to care anymore if he knew where i was or what i did.. i kinda got tired waiting for him. he says hes doing all this.. i mean like texting wit da girl bc he wants to make me pay for going out without him.. he said to me he was going to go to her house but never did because he spent the whole afternoon with me dat day and tho were actually getting along pretty well, i feel really hurt because anything can happen.. i know dey are not texting anymore. but im still hurt.. it hurts to know dat in any second he can leave me. i dont know. i wish i didnt care about him. but he hasnt been treating me as bad as he used to. atleast dat.. i love him very much.
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 i would say you have to leave. If anything the age difference is too wide, you both want different things in life.
To save yourself for the future, i strongly advice not being with him.
If anything you do not deserve to be treated that way if you have done no wrong.
I know it must seem really a tough thing to do - to break up with someone you have been with for a long time. It will hurt you and you will doubt it a lot. But after time you will see what a good idea it was. I really think its for the best. Cause as he grows older, and gets into his later 20s he'll be thinking about settling down and getting a few kids, and you will feel pressure to grow up as he does. Basicaly killing your childhood.
Its for the best. For the both of you :)
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