A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 28 and my ex girlfriend is 24 and we dated for just over 2 years. To make a long story short just over a month ago my girlfriend became very distant and I suspected there was somone else. Well after looking into the matter more I figured out she was going behind my back with one of my friends who is also my co worker. I was crushed and when I confronted both of them they both said they were just friends and denied everything. I knew they were constantly texing each other and even found her car over his house one night every late with the lights out in the house...so here's my issue. Over the past few weeks I've been depressed and am feeling really betrayed. I was talking to her for a while trying to fix things and trying to tell myself that maybe it was just in my head. Well after deeming her actions were just to keep me around and have her cake and eat it I told her I was moving on. I haven't talked to her in a week and she hasn't tried communicating with me etc. I'm trying to move on but its so damn hard even though I believe she cheated on me. I talk to my friends a lot and try to always hang out with friends but my mind is always on her. I'm a good looking guy who has alot going for me but most everything I do to get my mind off her usually ends up with me thinking about her some more. I have many sleepless nights and don't know what to do. I've been exercising extremely hard lately and this has help some what. I think I'm having trouble moving on because I don't have any closure on the situation. He and she will never admit anything to me and I just don't know how to find closure on the matter.. I know I need to move on because I know I could never trust her again but I just don't know how to get her off my mind. As sad as it sounds I want to be with her even though she betrayed me.. I know this is pathetic and I just need some help moving on.. If anyone has any advice please let me know.. thanx.
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male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (13 February 2010):
 I feel you bro, I went through the same thing, only it wasnt my friend, I think it's irrelevant who the other guy is, people are going to do what they are going to do, unfortunatly like I responded to someone else, integrity isnt something thats in a high amount these days! I lift weights too, that seemed to be the only genuine way I could keep my mind off of it! everything else was just kind of a cheesy way of kidding myself, as the only thing I really wanted to do was dwell on it, you mention your fairly good looking guy, well I am too, but that doesnt seem to matter when your single, does it? at least It seems like I cant meet anyone, and when I do, I dont think there better then what I had, so I guess all I can tell you to do, is work out, working out does so good because it's exhausting and requires your mind and body to be focused on only it, and even if you mind is preoccupied thinking about her, you can only not think about it so long before you eventually have to focus on the excersise, other pastimes that Ive found work are Basketball, Baseball, and Football, not watching, playing, im sure it wouldnt be hard to find pick up games of basketball around you, sign up to play softball, springs about here, it's great man, you really honestly forget all about relationship bullshit when you start playing sports!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): "..I want to be with her even though she betrayed me.." This is really sad. I feel exactly just like you with my ex.
I don't know what to say really as I am also struggling to understand why I feel this way. These people betrayed us and they still affect us like this. I think the reason why we still want to be with them is because if they allow us to be with them..it means they still care/love us. It gives us one single hope that they will change their mind and realize that they love us more.
Well, maybe you can think of it this way. There are probably a zillion people who walked on this earth, and they too, went through what you are going through right now. Time doesn't stop, it passes. So must you...life for you must move on. This too shall pass my friend.
If people can get over a broken heart, well so can you. This woman is not the most special person on earth to literally stop your life when she's gone. Do not let her control your life and your emotions. She had done enough damage, don't let her do more.
Lastly, no one can help you but yourself. So get up and start moving on. To hell with her, you can live without her afterall.
Be strong. Before you know it, you are over her.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Hey man,
It's tough, but it will get better in time. I went through a similar thing with my ex, and had to get used to the fact that I was never going to get the information I needed for the closure I wanted...I dealt with it by finding my own closure, realising that if this person had loved me, they wouldn't have treated me that way. It is really tough, but you will start to feel better in time. Keep talking to friends, see a counsellor if it will help, but most of all, distract yourself as much as possible-go out, do new things, meet new people.
My relationship ended 6 months ago, and I still love my ex, but I've realised that I deserve to be treated better, and would think twice about taking my ex back (whereas at first, I would gladly have taken my ex back). Hang in there, it will get better with time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): Go out and talk to other girls. Just talk, no chasing.
When thoughts of your ex appear in your mind, just return to paying attention to whatever you were doing. Eventually she won't matter.
Best
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