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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyf is changing..its been 3yrs...and jus bcuz ive been there wid him thru thick n thin, he thinks its ok to treat me like crap. he yells at me.. dusnt matter where we are...he makes me feel low..and wat drivez me crazy is that at one point i was one of them 'strong,fight for ur rights' kinda girl..nowadays i feel ashamed that i dont step up to him..sumtyms i really feel like teaching him a lesson he wudnt forget..bu dat wud be stoopin down to his level..and the only thing i have left is my self respect..i want to walk away...n to be honest i dnt think he wud care if i did..but wat if i regret my decision...ive tried talkin to him...bu he dusnt acknowledge nything i say...3 years is a lot of memories to chuck away n my family love him! i am very confused..plz help!! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 November 2006): my boyfriend does the same thing..3 years now and treats me like crap. i feel you. more than you know. we have small children now and that makes it feel impossible to walk away. he won't look at me anymore, wants other women, throws me around. and iused to be one of those "fight for it and be strong" girls too. but i am totally ashamed just like you. embarrassed. i used to think i was cute and sexy. but he makes me hate what i see in the mirror...just a girl that could never be beautiful enough for anyone. if i walk away, i lose my kids. if i stay, i contemplate a lot of awful things. i even consider suicide atleast once a week. but i'm even a failure at that. too weak for that just like with him. this is my life. i'm stuck. if there aren't any kids involved, get out before it's too late. other wise it's all over and you'll die lonely and sad. i cry every day and night. i am this pathetic person now who is worthless. get out before it's too late for you too.
A
female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 This guy isn't treating you badly, you are letting him treat you badly. There is only one way to improve your life right now and that is to dump him. 3 years and clinging to hope of better times isn't going to work; you are in an abusive relationship that leads to depression and possibly a more physical type of abuse in the future. Get out while you are still holding your head up high - it may make him face up to his bad behaviour if you send a clear message that abuse is not acceptable.
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 The guy is taking advantage of your loving and understanding heart, you stood by him even when things were hopeless and he thinks maybe you didnt have anywhere to go thats why he doesnt care, so show him that you did all that bcos you love him but a girl can also love so much and now is time to move on.
Otherwise this relationship will totally destroys u,you were once a very strong woman and you still are, you just need to get that energy back let his insults motivate you and b4 u know it your self esteem will be up and running again.
you said it urself that if u leave him he wont even notice you can see its bad dont wait any longer u deserve better. About regretting your decision it is possible as u cant predict the future but focus on the present + dont make excuses for his behaviour when making ur decision, you deserve to be happy not to be with someone with so little respect for you a good relationship should build and give you hope for the future not destroy you which is currently happening.
But at the end we might say all that we think its right for you but the final decision is yours. good luck
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A
female
reader, chunkymunky +, writes (27 October 2006):
 sometimes when you love someone you forget all the bad things about them, even though they make out weigh the good. If he's not treating you right then theres certainly no secure future there. You should be with someone who makes you happy and feel safe, not some jerk who obviously doesnt appreciate you! I know you have a history together, but people change and if you are feeling this way then you should get out the relationship sooner rather than later. Hope it all works out ok girl because you deserve the best :) x x x x x
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A
male
reader, Ponungalungb  +, writes (27 October 2006):
 It won't get any better. He's a schmuck. Lose him.
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A
female
reader, fATTYNATTY +, writes (26 October 2006):
 get back into that state of mind when you wouldnt take crap! obviously he's gotten a little too smug with his role and has become an arrogant excuse for a man, do what in your heart is right. leave. Tell him straight that you've given him enough chances, no looking back. maybe he'll realise the concequences of his actions when you're gone, one day the penny will drop, and he will know about it!
you really are worth more and with just a little time, and help from your family ( once you sit them down and tell them what he was truly like) you'll be back on your feet, until some brilliant guy comes to sweep you off them :) you must know the highs and the good feeling of a relationship when your with someone, look forward to that
All the best!!! x
let me know how you get on ?
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