A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well, I am 14 years old I am know as the good girl in my school straight A's all that but i had a boy friend and he tried to touch me where I didn't feel convertible. I rejected him the first few times... But then i gave in. I feel so guilty. Should i feel guilty? We didn't have sex but i still feel like a whore. I knew it was wrong but then why did I do it? I haven't told anyone I dont want to get a bad rep. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2010): Your boyfriend is not respecting you if you resisted and he keeps trying until you give in, typical, but not OK.
I think instead of feeling guilty, take those feelings as a red flag that you should be reconsidering your relationship with this boy, like in telling him to leave you alone please you no longer want to spend time with him, and don't give in to his pleading and tears.
You both aren't old enough to be in a sexual relationship, your not ready and he's just after one thing, he will keep on "trying" until you have performed oral sex and vaginal penetration. Doesn't sound like you want to potentially mess up your future with getting precariously involved like that, so put a stop to it now.
A
female
reader, icaaru  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 This is my opinion regarding to the first part of your post: He should respect your decisions. Besides you're the girl. He won't lose anything if ever something happened between you and him. But at the later part, where you said you we're guilty, don't be. He's your bf. there's nothing wrong with some lil' foreplays or something. You entered in a relationship so you should accept that it's a part of having a bf. You can't stop him from getting aroused. It's their nature. At the first place, you shouldn't allowed him to touch you if you're not yet ready. Don't force your self dear. You'll be the one who'll suffer. Just say these things to him. Tell him that you'll let him as soon as you're ready but if he still asking you and wants to touch you, then ask for a break. If he really love you, he would wait.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (12 July 2010):
 It's not you, it's him. Resolve to be more firm in future, but do understand this - you're not any of the nasty things you're calling yourself. Treat it as a learning experience and move on. And if he tries to blackmail you into repeating the act by threatening to 'tell on' you, just point that your response will be to stoutly deny everything. Practise saying "What! With him?" and rolling your eyes. You wouldn't beleive how often stout denial works.
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A
female
reader, Cutter  +, writes (12 July 2010):
I had the same problem when I was your age (now 20). Like the other guys say, you're not a bad person or anything, if you don't want to do anything you just gotta know how to say no and mean it. The right guy won't pressure you into doing things you don't want to, and it won't feel awkward or bad when he touches you.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 It sounds like you feel you made a mistake. So learn from that feeling, and be more assertive. If you don't want a boyfriend to go that far, say no and mean it. You shouldn't do anything that makes you feel like a whore, so don't let it happen again.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): First, please don't beat yourself up over this. Life is full of situations where you make a decision and then afterward may have some distance and decide that you wish you'd made another choice. That's OK... it's healthy.
What's not good is to decide that you're bad for the decision you made. It may have been a bad decision - but you're NOT a bad person - just human!
SO, IMO, you shouldn't feel bad, shame, guilt, that you're a whore... because it's not true. What you need to tell yourself, is that you're still a good person, and that now that you have this experience, next time, you'll think about it a bit more. Just remember, at some point in the future you'll want this (it may be a while, but only you will know when the time is right). Then you're going to want to have a healthy attitude towards sex (which I include sexual touching as sex, as it's sex play). Please don't over react and create a situation that when the time is right you'll have a happy and fulfilling sex life - it's really important!
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