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anonymous
writes: Hey, I need an opinion. I am a 47 year old woman. My bf (46) called me last night and told me he took a female friend (25) out for dinner. I have met this female friend-one time-don't know her that well. Then they both went back to his place and they were drinking wine when I phoned him. He told me that she and him were going to 'polish off two more bottles' and she might have to stay at his place for the night. And then he asked "how do you feel about that?" I said "I was okay with it" but..after thinking about it today--it really bothered me. If I bring it up to him-he will probably get upset at me for implying that I don't trust him. Should I be worried? Just don't know what to do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, dr good advice +, writes (22 March 2006):
tell him to get lost! sorry darling but this so called man sounds like a insensitive pig, hes behavior is totally unacceptable, i can relate to how you feel and i feel for you so much, if the shoe was one the other foot would he be ok with it? i think not! dont put up with it. find someone else who doesnt feel the need to drink with old female friends but who treats you like the woman of hes dreams, trust me the men are out there, just look. good luck. xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2006): If you don't think this is acceptable behavior for your boyfriend, then do not tolerate it. If he gets upset and/or defensive when you tell him how you really feel about that situation, then he doesn't really care about you. He should be concerned about how you feel, even if his relationship with this female friend turns out to be totally platonic.
It sounds like he's testing you. The more you tolerate, the more he will push the limits (just like a child does). Soon you will be swallowing far more than you can stand. If you don't like something, tell him, regardless of how you think he might react. Try not to get emotional, but be clear. You may start by asking where she slept when she stayed the night?
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